... of my journey into pig-keeping.
I got Edward (I've been trying to think of it as just meat, but can't) back on Saturday in pieces and although I haven't cried & got upset, I'm really not ok about it all. I've tried hard to detach myself & I know Edward & Tubbs would have been raised for meat regardless of my involvement, and I know they had a lovely life & were happy and enjoyed themselves, but I would be happier eating them had I not known them personally. So, I made the difficult decision to not pick up the weaners yesterday & I've hung my pig-keeping hat up. For now at least. Maybe I'll feel differently in a few weeks, but I just can't put myself through this again right now. Thankfully, I'm not in a situation where I have to continue - it's a terrible shame that the fabulous area in the barn that Jack fashioned for them is going to go to waste - I do feel really bad about that, but maybe I'll keep some chickens in there instead. At least it'll get used for something. And if all else fails, Jeff can claim it back for work-shop area for his furniture making hobby.
It's taken a lot of soul searching this weekend to come to this conclusion & I feel embarrassed having to tell you all that I'm wimping out, but I just can't do it, I'm really sorry. I know it's ridiculous, but I feel that after what I've done, I've been changed and I don't know if it's for the better in my head.
After coming to this decision, I've thought about becoming a vegetarian, but I don't know if I can or even if it's necessary for me to. I think that as long as I continue to source meat from the local farm shop where I know it's been raised in a non-intensive way, I'll still be keeping my newly found morals about meat. I just don't want to know the animals personally and I don't think that's a bad thing - or is it? I'd really like to hear your views on this, no matter what they are - I feel crap enough as it is, and maybe the opinions of you guys would help me be less blinkered.
So, the Virgin Porker is no longer a virgin porker & is out of business. What happens to my blog now?! Do I continue with tales of kennel life? Again, let me know what you think.
I hope you can all forgive me for wimping out, but mostly I hope I'll be able to come to terms with it all myself. It's bloody hard.
Alex x
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1 comment:
It's totally OK to feel like that about it and very common. I know a rough tough dairy farmer in Devon who thinks nothing of sending calves off to slaughter, disposes of cows when they are past their best, shoots anything that moves in his woods. He went to bits when we sent his two Gloucester Old Spots off to the abattoir and couldn't even eat the meat. He's never had pigs since.
It's different for me. I've always wanted this to be a pig farm and as a result, I've been looking at the next stage all the time. So, once Eric and Ernie were well on the way, I was looking at getting the sows in. Now farrowing is imminent (I hope), I'm thinking about where and to who I'll be selling the litters and when Kim and Molly will next go to the boar. It helps keep me detached.
Give yourself a bit of time and maybe think about getting a couple of sows in and producing a litter a year from each. It'd be a shame for the pig-keeping fraternity to lose someone who cares so much about the animals.
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