I've chosen them!

The two new weaners that is. Jeff & I went to the college earlier today & met with Janet, the farm manager there who's lovely & even though she's extremely busy (they're about to open their doors to the public tomorrow), took an hour out of her time to show us around. Bloody nora, until we went there, I thought Edward & Tubbs were quite a size - they look absolutely tiny in comparison to the fully grown sows & boars they have at the farm! I realise the adult pigs there are all at least a year old, but it just brought home to me the fact that I'm having to send E & T an awful lot earlier than I would really have liked to. Still, I've definitely learned a lesson this time round & my next two will go to at least 8 months old. I've chosen a British Lop (the rarest breed in Britain apparently) and a Saddleback cross - I can't remember what the sow was crossed with (when I speak to Janet again, I'll find out), but the piglet I picked out is gorgeous - almost totally black with a little white blaze on her head and a touch of pink on her nose. Both piglets are still with their brothers and sisters and are still being fed by their mums, but they're due for weaning next week so I'll pick them up the weekend after Edward & Tubbs go - around the 12th/13th.

So I now having something to look forward to, which is helping take the edge off of E & T going. Everybody said I should do this because it'll make sending off my piggy babies that much easier & yes, I do feel better now.

Speak soon.

VP x

The end is nigh....

Trevor (the butcher) came yesterday. Edward & Tubbs will be going the week after next. Probably Wednesday April 2nd. He's going to call me once he's arranged it with the abattoir so I can sort the movement licences out etc. He left and I immediately came & told Jeff. Amazingly I didn't get upset. A bit sad, yes but certainly not tearful. I think that made me feel bad though!

Why was I not shedding a tear for my (not so) little pigs?!

I went in to see them after he'd gone & gave them a little scratch & a stroke. They were both behaving themselves - they're so cute when they're like that - all warm & snuggled in their straw. They were trying to look me in the eye. I tried to avoid contact! As much as I'm fine about all of this now, it still feels very strange going through this process - sending a perfectly healthy live animal to it's death. Having said that, I've made a list already of how I want Edward to be butchered. Tubbs'll be the wedding feast, but Rock Steady's going to be our main meat supply for hopefully a good few months to come. Sounds very clinical doesn't it? But, that's the way it is & I'm actually looking forward to tasting them. I'm hoping they'll be vastly different to any other pork I've ever had. If they're not, I'll be mightily pissed off, I can tell you!

I'll call the lady at the college on Tuesday to arrange to pick out a couple of newbies. I want some chickens as well. They can all live in the barn together. I'd like to rescue a few hens from the Battery Hen Welfare Trust. I thought that might boost my somewhat depleted karma after E & T have gone to piggy heaven...

Took a photo of Halle Berry last night. She's been jumping in the log basket lately & having a rummage before jumping out again. We thought she might have been going in there to poo, but luckily she isn't. Don't know what fun she has - there are probably spiders in there that she eats. Anyway, I managed to catch her before she jumped out - quite a funny photo. She looks evil!



Speak soon.

VP x

I survived! Hurrah!

Bonjour tout le monde! We arrived back on Tuesday & now's the first chance I've had to sit down and actually write something. What with the piles of washing, piles of ironing & trying to placate my furry kids so that they know we're not about to leave them again, it's been non-stop! We had a lovely holiday, the snow held out for us & the sun shone gloriously for a few days. We took extra special care to ensure we didn't get a bad case of goggle face - now that wouldn't look good for our big day, would it? And we're refreshed & raring to go. Well, sort of. I always need a bit of coaxing to get raring... the good intent's there, I just get a bit of the post-holiday blues when I come home. I'd rather live in France you see. Have wanted to live there for a very long time & one day I'm pretty sure that dream will come true, but for now I have to make do with England. Sorry to all of those who read this who love their motherland, but I think I was born to be French & love all things French. Except andouilettes. Eugh. Anyway, we had a marvellous time - Liz & Ian (who we stayed with) were wonderful hosts and we can't wait to go back to see them. Their chalet is beautiful and they have 3 lovely dogs - one of whom I took an extra special shine to (sorry Buddy). His name's Charlie - here are a couple of pictures. Look how handsome he is. I also love the fact that you can take dogs into restaurants over there...





More importantly, I'm getting better at boarding! I spent an awful lot less time on my derriere than I did last year! I'm still lacking confidence regarding getting some speed up, but I'm sure that will improve on next year's holiday. Yay! I'm a dude! Well, maybe....

I was expecting Edward & Tubbs to look much bigger than they were when I left them, but in actual fact I initially didn't notice any difference in their size. However, since being in with them again, they've definitely got wider & a lot more 'filled out'. I was expecting the butcher to come yesterday to check on their progress (he wants to make sure Tubbs doesn't get too big for the spit), but he got called away elsewhere, so he'll come over in the next couple of days. I have a feeling though that the end is nigh.... It's funny, I feel totally detached from them at the moment. I suppose being away for a week has helped and I have to say I didn't miss them at all. Is that bad?? Of course I don't wish them any harm, but I can honestly say I'm not going to have any trouble doing this. I still think I'll shed a tear, I'm not a heartless cow, but I'm at ease with it all now. Once we know when they'll be going, I'll get in touch with the lady at the college about the two newbies.

It's a miserable old day here today (as I think it is pretty much everywhere) & the rest of the weekend doesn't look much better. The pigs are in a quagmire - I struggle to stay on my feet when I go in with them...

Anyway, I'd better get going for now - the kennels are gearing up for the weekend today, we're pretty much full by the end of tomorrow so it's going to be a busy weekend.

Speak soon.

VP x

I'm such a bad mom & Mrs-to-be

I'm abandoning my children. Furry & hairy kinds that is. I don't have any of the pink flesh kind. Not yet anyway. And if I did, I'd probably be abandoning them too. The thing is, I don't really feel very guilty. I'm toe-tapping & sit-down-dancing to a Soul Wax mix as I type. That's not the behaviour of a woman who's guilty, is it?? When I say abandon, of course I don't mean properly abandon, before someone out there calls the RSPCA. I'm leaving my brood in the care of John & Barbara. Jeffers & I are off snowboarding! Woo hoo! And the reason I'm a terrible girlfriend is because I've gone & lost Jeff's sunglasses. It's the 3rd pair of sunglasses I've lost in the last 2 years. I'm not to be trusted. The most annoying thing about it (to me, that is - not Jeff, he's just plain annoyed) is that I love those sunglasses - I wear them all the time & they really suit me. Darn it. I'll just have to wear my own now. No doubt I'll lose them too... To top it all, I've not blogged in nearly a week! How crap am I??! I'm sorry, there's just been tons of stuff to do this week & the wedding plans are in full 'can we talk about something other than getting married now' flow. It's driven us both a little crazy. Of course it's exciting & lovely & you only do it once (well, twice in my case but we'll gloss over that one), but I'm so glad it's only next month - I'd go properly mad if it was any later in the year. I'm having to take about 20 Kalms a day already. I'm all about the hard drugs, me.

Anyway, Edward & Tubbs are good - they're none the wiser about us going away & John has all of the necessary instructions re feed etc.

So, I shall say adieu for just over a week - we're back on the 17th & hopefully I'll still have a fully working body in order to be able to let you know how it went. Not being pessimistic or anything, but it'll be sods law I break something 6 weeks before my wedding day. A divorced bride in a plaster cast. Dead classy.

Take care everyone, speak soon.

VP x

They mugged me for my doughnuts!

If they had hoodies, they'd have ASBO's by now, for sure....

I went up to the village for some groceries & popped into the little Co-op & found a bag of apples & a bag of 10 jam doughnuts on the whoopsie counter. Ahhh, I thought, I'll treat Edward & Tubbs & give them a few apples and a doughnut each for their tea & their breakkie over the next few days... I came back home all pleased with myself for being so lovely & thrifty all at the same time & told Barbara (my mum-in-law-to-be) of my purchase. She said she had a little bunch of grapes that were past their best & that I could chuck them in the trough too.

Off I went to the patch with a smile on my face & quite possibly whistling. I wasn't whistling, but you get the picture, I was feeling pretty chilled & totally not ready for what came next. I should have known there was trouble ahead when they were standing high on their midden looking like they meant business. They had also been doing some landscape gardening it seemed - there's a few paving slabs in their patch which I use to step on to fill their trough, in an attempt to stay mud-free. The slabs have been there long before E &T and were quite solidly set. Well, there were a few of them that had been tossed to one side & the trough was tipped over & all their footballs had quite obviously been played with. Still, in I went & they came running straight over to me - Tubbs trying to bite at my knees & Edward standing slightly back but I'm sure I could hear him egging her on. I frantically threw the bunch of grapes in their trough hoping they would distract them while I got a couple of doughnuts & apples out of my bag. I know, I know, I should have got them out of the bag before I went in there, but I didn't. Anyway, they took one look at the grapes & looked back up at me with that 'we know there's better stuff than this in that bag' look & ran at me, squeaking & honking & tore the bag from my hand!!! The apples & doughnuts went everywhere & they proceeded to hoover everything up before my eyes. I scrabbled to try to save some of the doughnuts & managed to get 3 back in my bag & I literally ran out of there!! My heart was racing, my cheeks were flushed & I certainly wasn't whistling!

Bloody little hooligans.

VP x

I found her

The happy medium Alex that is. I think I was just feeling particularly emotional on Tuesday. Time of the month & all that... Anyway, I feel much happier now. Still not over the moon about the whole thing, but certainly able to see everything for what it is. I've spoken to the lady at the local agricultural college as well and I'm going to go to see her piglets when we get back from holiday & reserve a couple. I'll have a good clean out of the barn once E & T go and then the weaners can move in a few days later. I'll then take them to the age that I wanted to take E&T to - about 9 months and they can be ready for Christmas. I can't wait to have some piggies through the summer - I'm sure it's going to be so much easier - not that it's been difficult keeping Ed & Tubbs, but with frozen pipes and ground, it's not been very enjoyable on some days... I tell you what though, I've either been very lucky, or H F-W is absolutely right and keeping pigs is a breeze. Once we'd sorted out the hatch & the outside area and they had access to the outside all of the time, I've gone through hardly any straw and have to do very very little mucking out. They eat & drink & poo & wee outside. Brilliant. I do think they're getting a bit big for their raised bed now - I tend to find them on the floor in the barn with all of their straw around them - I might move the bed out of there now & just keep them on the floor. The bed can be disinfected & moved back in for the weaners.

The rats seem to be back with a vengeance at the moment. Not sure why - we managed to get rid of them for a while. Not completely I'm sure, but there was definitely no sign of them for a good few weeks. I don't mind them munching on the odd bit of food that escapes the trough, but what I do object to is that they eat their way through the bags of feed that are in the barn unopened. I'll get Jack on the case when he turns up - he's the king of the rat trappers.... What I need is Malc's Spike for a few days - I'm sure they'd bugger off pronto then!

Jeff & I go to register our notice at the Civic Centre this afternoon & we're then going to have a look at the hotel's private dining area where we'll be having our wedding supper after the ceremony. I'm really excited - it's a lovely sunny Spring-like day & it'll be nice having a wander through Newcastle - it's a beautiful little city for those of you who've never been.

Well, I need to go get clean for my Jeff & our appointment - I'll speak to you all later.

VP x

We have a plan & I don't feel fine

The butcher has just left. We're going to send both Edward & Tubbs together at the beginning of April. He'll turn Ed into joints & chops and will prepare Tubbs for the spit & will freeze her until the wedding party. He's going to take them himself to the abattoir & has said that I can come as well. I told him he needs to be prepared for tears on the day & he said he totally understands. We discussed him slaughtering them here, which he said he's more than happy to do, but we'll need a huge vat of boiling water & I don't think that'll be logistically possible. Also, as soon as he mentioned the huge vat of boiling water, it all became much more real & I don't know if I could deal with knowing that was going on just behind the barn door. I don't know, I'll discuss it with Jeff tonight & see what he thinks. A part of me would like it done here - for reasons I've mentioned before, but now it's all becoming very much more a fact rather than just something that's being spoken about, I don't think I can go through with that. At least if they're away from here & I've gone with them, all the nasty bit is done away from ear/eye shot.

When he left, I really cried. I know I have to do this & I know I will do this, but I'm really sad at doing it. It's such a strange feeling - of course, I've never had to go through anything like this before & I suppose everything I've felt up to this stage has been new to me, but blimey this bit's horrible. I'm a very caring person (at least I think I am) and am finding it increasingly difficult to be 'matter of fact' about the whole process.... The 'tough' Alex is looking on the bright side - at least we'll be able to have a whole hog roast, and at least I can go with them to try to keep them a bit calm. The 'soft' Alex is screaming - NO!!! LET THEM LIVE FOREVER! I'm trying desperately to find the 'happy medium' Alex! If you see her anywhere, can you ask her to give me a call.....

VP x