I feel like a bit of a fraud....

It's not like I'm a proper pig farmer, is it? I mean, I read all about my pal Malc's antics & he's really into this now - he has a couple of sows ready to pop their first litter & he's managing to take his first two pigs to their optimum weight before they go to slaughter. Having seen how big pigs get at the age of a year, I realise my two poor buggers are far from fully grown and they're going off probably next week! I know there are reasons why I'm having to do it sooner than I had hoped, but I feel bad about that and I also feel bad about the fact that all I'm doing is buying 2 more weaners to rear for meat. I'm doing it all a little bit clinically aren't I & not really 'getting my hands dirty'. Do you know what I mean? Am I being stupid?

Anyway, fraudulent pig farmer is what I am for the moment and I think that Eddie & Tubbs might be a bit too fat. They have a bit of a roll going on down their legs. I've no idea whether this is normal or not as I'm just a fraud, but it seems to me that the subject of how much I've been feeding them has reared it's ugly head again. Bit late now I know, and I suppose I wont know for sure until they're back from the abattoir... I can't believe how much of a dilemma this has been for me - I just hope that my lack of knowledge hasn't been to the detriment of the quality of their meat.....

We had a rodent-filled day yesterday. Jeff found a live rat in one of the traps in the barn (it's a humane trap, don't worry), but he obviously then did away with the said ratty once he found him.... I also came into the lounge to discover Halle Berry & Buddy being 'bessies' under the desk I'm currently sitting at. 'Strange', I thought, they don't usually sit so close to eachother without one of them being asleep. It didn't take long to realise that they were in fact both staring at the very same spot underneath Jeff-bob's guitar. And then I saw it's cute little nose & whiskers poking out. Halle Berry had brought in a little mouse and they were both there waiting for it to come out, gasping it's last little breaths as Halle had obviously played around with it so much that it was near to death. Buddy does make me laugh though, he just kept whimpering while he looked at it - he has a heart, bless him. Not like that little brown serial killer child of mine.

I couldn't just leave it there, but I absolutely hate having to pick up mice. Ridiculous I know. By the time I'd found a suitable receptacle to put it in, it had moved across to the other corner of the room. I'm not quite sure whether that was of it's own accord or whether the furry brown killer had picked it out from it's hidey hole. When I finally got to it, it was no longer of this world. I very bravely picked it up & put it in the wheelie bin. Jeff wasn't here to tell me whether or not that was the right thing to do. Are you allowed to just wheelie bin them? God, I'm such a girl...

I'm talking to a florist on Saturday about flowers for the wedding. I don't want anything grand, just something simple & some button holes for the men & corsages for the ladies. There will only be a dozen of us at the ceremony, so it's not going to cost an arm & a leg. Although as soon as you mention 'wedding' to these shop people, you can practically see their eyes light up & pound signs appear. Bastards. I might wear my wellies there just so they think I'm a proper poor pig farmer, not the fraud I truly am....

Speak soon.

VP x