I found her

The happy medium Alex that is. I think I was just feeling particularly emotional on Tuesday. Time of the month & all that... Anyway, I feel much happier now. Still not over the moon about the whole thing, but certainly able to see everything for what it is. I've spoken to the lady at the local agricultural college as well and I'm going to go to see her piglets when we get back from holiday & reserve a couple. I'll have a good clean out of the barn once E & T go and then the weaners can move in a few days later. I'll then take them to the age that I wanted to take E&T to - about 9 months and they can be ready for Christmas. I can't wait to have some piggies through the summer - I'm sure it's going to be so much easier - not that it's been difficult keeping Ed & Tubbs, but with frozen pipes and ground, it's not been very enjoyable on some days... I tell you what though, I've either been very lucky, or H F-W is absolutely right and keeping pigs is a breeze. Once we'd sorted out the hatch & the outside area and they had access to the outside all of the time, I've gone through hardly any straw and have to do very very little mucking out. They eat & drink & poo & wee outside. Brilliant. I do think they're getting a bit big for their raised bed now - I tend to find them on the floor in the barn with all of their straw around them - I might move the bed out of there now & just keep them on the floor. The bed can be disinfected & moved back in for the weaners.

The rats seem to be back with a vengeance at the moment. Not sure why - we managed to get rid of them for a while. Not completely I'm sure, but there was definitely no sign of them for a good few weeks. I don't mind them munching on the odd bit of food that escapes the trough, but what I do object to is that they eat their way through the bags of feed that are in the barn unopened. I'll get Jack on the case when he turns up - he's the king of the rat trappers.... What I need is Malc's Spike for a few days - I'm sure they'd bugger off pronto then!

Jeff & I go to register our notice at the Civic Centre this afternoon & we're then going to have a look at the hotel's private dining area where we'll be having our wedding supper after the ceremony. I'm really excited - it's a lovely sunny Spring-like day & it'll be nice having a wander through Newcastle - it's a beautiful little city for those of you who've never been.

Well, I need to go get clean for my Jeff & our appointment - I'll speak to you all later.

VP x

We have a plan & I don't feel fine

The butcher has just left. We're going to send both Edward & Tubbs together at the beginning of April. He'll turn Ed into joints & chops and will prepare Tubbs for the spit & will freeze her until the wedding party. He's going to take them himself to the abattoir & has said that I can come as well. I told him he needs to be prepared for tears on the day & he said he totally understands. We discussed him slaughtering them here, which he said he's more than happy to do, but we'll need a huge vat of boiling water & I don't think that'll be logistically possible. Also, as soon as he mentioned the huge vat of boiling water, it all became much more real & I don't know if I could deal with knowing that was going on just behind the barn door. I don't know, I'll discuss it with Jeff tonight & see what he thinks. A part of me would like it done here - for reasons I've mentioned before, but now it's all becoming very much more a fact rather than just something that's being spoken about, I don't think I can go through with that. At least if they're away from here & I've gone with them, all the nasty bit is done away from ear/eye shot.

When he left, I really cried. I know I have to do this & I know I will do this, but I'm really sad at doing it. It's such a strange feeling - of course, I've never had to go through anything like this before & I suppose everything I've felt up to this stage has been new to me, but blimey this bit's horrible. I'm a very caring person (at least I think I am) and am finding it increasingly difficult to be 'matter of fact' about the whole process.... The 'tough' Alex is looking on the bright side - at least we'll be able to have a whole hog roast, and at least I can go with them to try to keep them a bit calm. The 'soft' Alex is screaming - NO!!! LET THEM LIVE FOREVER! I'm trying desperately to find the 'happy medium' Alex! If you see her anywhere, can you ask her to give me a call.....

VP x

They're at it again....

.... being lovable. They know, I swear they know....

Well, it looks like I'll definitely be getting a couple more weaners at the beginning of April, when Edward goes off to piggy heaven. And food plate heaven, but we wont mention that right now. The wonderful farmer's wife up the road (where I got E&T from) has spoken to the lady who runs the farm bit of the local agricultural college & she will have some piglets ready for when I need them. Great stuff. I'm not sure what they are, but to be honest, I'm not that fussed providing they're gilts or castrated boars. I'm going to telephone her on Monday to finalise the arrangement. I shall let you know what I'm getting then. Maybe I'll be able to go see them as tiny little piglets & I'll take a few piccies, I hope so.

When we were up at the farm shop, their weaners who were born at Christmas were out & about. My goodness, it's hard to imagine Edward & Tubbs were so small! They were all so inquisitive & came running up to us for a little scratch. It was lovely! I can't wait to get the newbies now and I'm hoping (as everyone who's done this before has told me it will) that their arrival will soften the blow of my little Ed going. Fingers, toes and dangly bits crossed for me please....

Speak soon.

VP x

I've had to make a difficult decision....

After having received some advice from couple of members on the British Saddlebacks forum, I've had to make a decision about Edward. I'm afraid he's going to have to go to slaughter earlier than I'd hoped. He'll need to go in April, when he's 6 months old, for 2 reasons. The first is that I run the risk of boar taint after this age - this is when the meat is tainted with a pretty rank flavour which is caused by him reaching sexual maturity. If he had been castrated as a piglet, I wouldn't have had this problem, but he wasn't & so I do. I suppose this is maybe a good reason to castrate boars - I know from various things I've read, a lot of people frown upon this practice, but if he had been, he'll be able to live a longer life. I think I know which I would have preferred... The 2nd reason is that because he'll have reached sexual maturity (and so will Tubbs - his sister), I cannot run the risk of him successfully doing the deed with her. Her cycles will come every 3 weeks apparently from this age & the last thing I'd want is for her to get pregnant. So, the plan is to get 2 more weaners to keep her company when he goes. She can then become the hog roast for our wedding feast & the two newbies will go for slaughter around Christmas. If all this goes to plan, it's then our intention to have a break for a few months as Jeff & I will take our honeymoon next January / February time & then we'll get our next two in Spring 2009.

I feel really sad (as I knew I would) and I'm letting horrible thoughts enter my head about Edward's end. I've become far too attached to him (and her), and maybe I should have kept my distance more. But how can you when you have only 2 & they rely on you for everything? Maybe if you're a farmer on a much grander scale, it all becomes less personal, but for me it's going to be hard. I know I'll go through with it, but I do know that I'm going to be really upset. I can feel the tears pricking my eyes now as I type. Oh goodness, this is hard! I really want to go with him to the abattoir - not to watch, but just to be there for him. I'm going to ask if I'm able to.

On a brighter note, it's warmed up. The taps are finally working & I've just given everything a really good hose down. I feel ridiculously satisfied about having running outside taps! It's amazing how difficult it is without them. It's pretty grey & a bit drizzly, but I'm so glad it's not sub zero. I think Ed, Tubbs & the inmates are pleased too!

I'm off to the 'proper' job now so need to go shower. Speak later.

VP x

Bloody hell it's parky out there!

Went down to -8 last night, it was bloomin' cold! It's not gone above freezing at all today - outside looks pretty magical, well it did when it was still light, but it's been absolutely bitter. There was no sunshine, just that freezing fog that never lifts - the really eerie stuff that you can imagine a headless horseman galloping out of. Well, I can with my forever active imagination... I think all sorts when I'm out and about round here. I think it's do do with my London upbringing. I'm forever thinking some crazy axe murderer is going to jump out of the bushes. Anyway, the ground's all frozen, the taps are not working, and it's been very difficult to do anything other than just stay warm. I fell arse over tit this morning and am aching like mad now - the ground behind the kennels was like an ice rink and one of the dogs has to be fed in his run so I was taking his bowl of food round to him & my left leg just slipped underneath me. Blimey it hurt & the food was absolutely everywhere. I didn't manage to block my fall with anything so I landed with an almighty thud on the outside of my left arm. I'm going to feel it tomorrow I'm sure...

Eddie & Tubbs are as cosy as they can be - I've given them extra food & a lot more straw than they would normally have and they've spent most of the day just huddled together on their bed. They really pump out some heat between them though, I'm sure they're not suffering at all. They have more than a pig ark which is what most piggies of their kind have, and they're pretty big these days, so I'm not worried about them. I just hope it gets a bit warmer soon! The poor inmates must be absolutely frozen! They do have panel heaters in their kennel blocks, but the buildings are just single skin breeze block with a bit of render, so they're not exactly toasty! I've put extra blankets in with each dog, so they're happy enough. I'm sure they're all looking forward to going home to their sofas though!

OK, here comes the sentence:

Hog roast sorted - the butcher with the gear is free on the day of the party, marquee is hired, invite's on it's way (electronic - much more eco-friendly & a lot less hassle than post), wedding list sorted, dress bought, pretty much everyone told to save the date. There, one sentence. I didn't say it would be a short sentence, did I?! I swear I should have been an events manager.

It feels like I haven't been off of the 'phone since we announced to the world we're getting hitched - I'm absolutely shattered!

Off to snuggle up with my Jeff now.

VP x

Ding Dong

Well, it's official folks. Jeff & I are getting wed! On our 4th anniversary which is April 29th - yes, this year!! - with a celebratory party on June 14th, here at the Burn. Some hectic arrangements have been made already, with obviously still more to do, but I'm absolutely ecstatic - the happiest I've ever been! The actual wedding day will be very small, just our parents and a couple of witnesses, but the party is rapidly turning into a pretty huge affair! We think (and we do believe this will be a fitting end, although I don't know how I'll feel on the day) that one of the pigs will provide the food in the form of a hog roast - perfect timing really. We need to make some hasty telephone calls to make sure that people save the date, including those friends that might be reading this - we realise it's pretty short notice!

Please don't worry - I'm not going to gush on about weddings every day now - I just wanted to share my VERY happy news with everyone! Well, maybe I'll limit myself to just a sentence a day - surely you can grant me that??!

It's another absolutely stonkingly beautiful day here again and Edward & Tubbs are enjoying the wonderful sunshine. Their water trough was actually completely frozen solid this morning - goodness knows how cold it got last night, but I'm glad I was under my cosy down duvet, I can tell you! I've put a couple of large bowls of water in their barn so that they can at least drink liquid, rather than crunching on ice... When I went in a little while ago, they were both asleep and woke up as soon as I opened the gate. I sat down on their bed & was singing along to that Newton Faulkner track (it was playing on the radio - you know the one, 'there's a place I go, when I'm on my own', I can't remember what it's called, but that's not important (!!)), and little Edward just looked at me & then lay back down again almost like I was singing him a lullaby! He's just so lovely, I really am having difficulty imagining sending him off. I honestly don't know if I can do it. I need to get my head round it though because I know it has to happen. I think Tubbs is going to have to be the hog roast in June - I couldn't bear to watch Rock Steady turning around on a spit.... Even Tubbs I'll have trouble with, but definitely not as much as my little Ed. Oh goodness me, this is SO hard!!!

I can't believe I did this & equally I can't believe I'm going to tell you all, but I feel I must pay a penance of sorts, so feel free to send me your emails of hate. I ate cruelty chicken last night. Sorry. Well, I assume it was cruelty chicken - it came from the local Indian. I was weak. I hang my head in shame and vow never to do it again.

Bye for now.

VP x

In a rush!

Really really sorry - been absolutely rushed off my feet today & now I have to go out - we're out tonight in Newcastle & wont be back til tomorrow late afternoon - will write more then, promise.

The cake seemed to work(!!) I'll fill you in tomorrow.....

VP x

How bloody good am I??!

It's 8:30 am and I've just made Jeff a passionfruit curd layered Victoria Sponge. Geddit? He wont see it til he gets home from work, but if this doesn't get him to pop the question, I don't know what will!

Happy Valentine's Day to all you lovers out there!

VP x

Amazingly, another beautiful day!

Hi! It's another lovely day here in County Durham - a pretty chilly & frosty start, but I just love those sorts of days, when you know that once the mistiness in the air clears, the sun will come though & the skies will be blue. You can smell it, can't you? Well, I can but maybe that's just my huge bloodhound nose.... Anyway, I took Buddy up to the top paddock with his ball & my camera

and then we went in to see Edward & Tubbs....

Buddy, what are you after in that midden????!

Consequently, when we got back he had to have a bath - which he absolutely hates, so I'm as wet as him now, trying to dry my kennel trousers as I type. Please don't imagine me sitting here blogging in my undies - it's not a pretty sight.

I went to the farm shop this morning & was discussing with the butcher 'the end'. I think I'm going to try to go to the abattoir - I need to see what it's like. Apparently, it's not as small as I thought it was so I want to make sure it's where I'm going to send them. I know 'the end' is 'the end' no matter where they go, to a certain extent, but it's not to me. I've loved & nurtured this pair of pigs and they've been really happy and I really don't want their last half hour, or however long it'll be from the moment I send them in the truck to the moment they die, to be traumatic. I'd like them to really be none the wiser until the last possible minute. There are a few abattoirs not far from here & I've heard some good things said about a much smaller set-up near Bishop Auckland. I'm going to do some research....

I also had to get some more feed while I was out. I tell you what, I know this was never going to be a money-making experiment, but by the time 'the end' comes, I reckon in total these two will have cost me near on £500 from start to total finish (butchery & all). Not cheap. I can now totally appreciate why it's difficult to get good meat these days. I think if this whole thing goes to plan & I do get a couple more once E&T are gone, I think I'm going to have to start mixing up my own feed. It's surely got to be cheaper than £10 a bag, which is what I'm currently paying for the Allen & Page stuff. I do mix it with some slightly cheaper pellets (still £8.50 a bag though!) and some barley to make it go further - and they obviously get peelings etc as & when I have them, but it's a pretty expensive experiment! I still think I'm going wrong somewhere. Any tips greatly appreciated. Malc, Claire, Fairy?

Well, I'm going to get out there while the sun's still shining. The days are definitely getting longer now, but once it gets to about 3:30, when the sun gets low in the sky, there's a real chill in the air. Jeff's away tonight - I hate it when he's not here. Still, at least I wont have to watch Newsnight - every cloud has a silver lining eh?

Bye for now.

VP x

Blimey!

Over 400 hits on my blog! Amazing! I do realise that probably 370 are me, checking to see how many hits I've had, maybe 10 are Malc, my fellow pig pal who lives in the middle of nowhere. Well, on the edge of it actually. Then maybe 10 are my friend Claire & the other 10 are my little fairy friend in Edinburgh. Honestly though, I really do find it amazing that possible 'strangers' are reading this along with the very few I know of - you might think I'm just being insincere when I say this, but I really am very grateful to everyone (Malc, Fairy, Claire (!!)) who is reading this.

Anyway, back to the pigs. I love 'em! They're being so good lately. They make absolutely no mess in their barn, except for scattering their straw everywhere but that's not a big deal to pitch fork back in place a couple of times a day & they're being very nice to me whenever I go in with them. I reckon someone's been whispering in their ear my intentions & they're trying to win me over.... Whatever the reason, they're very happy now & Malc if you're reading - you'd bloody better be - once you get your pen sorted, I reckon Eric & Ern will be different pigs. It's really made a difference to me. I feel like I've been made a bit redundant to be honest! If I hang around after they've been fed & watered, they just look at me as if I'm in the way! Ahh, little Edward (can you tell by now that he's my favourite - I know a mother shouldn't have favourites, but until I develop trotters I'm not really their mother, am I?) always comes up to me, even while there's still food in their trough and gives me a little sniff & a honk. I do think they honk rather than oink most of the time. Actually, 'honk' & 'yip' - they tend to be their greetings of choice. The yip is generally when I'm taking my time filling their trough & they both head butt the bowl I put the feed in as if to try to hurry me up. I've had to break the ice on top of their waters since I put them outside - although we've had glorious sunny days, the nights have been below freezing.

I was busy doing nothing all day yesterday (as promised), well, we went to the beach with Buddy & his friend Baz, a beautiful whippet who's owned by a friend who lives up in the village. We also went on a date - yes, I know, another one - maybe he's going to propose soon - last night to see Juno. Can recommend it for anybody who likes the cinema. I've also been busy today - had to go to the 'proper' job this afternoon. Tomorrow I'm here all day so you can bet it's going to rain.

Jeff & I are trying not to get too excited - we're off snowboarding in 4 weeks!! No idea who's going to look after Edward & Tubbs at the moment. Any offers? Claire? Fairy? Malc??!! John (Jeff's dad) is on standby - he's not very happy at the prospect though!!

I'm onto my second large glass of vin rouge (I'm getting in the French mood already!) - can you tell? I ramble on when I'm squiffy. Maybe I should drink more often, you'd have more to read then. Anyway, I must go - Lost is on in 20 minutes - missed it last night due to the date, and I need to clear up the dinner things before it starts. Bye for now.

VP x

Everything's all ship shape

I was at my 'proper' job this morning, annoyingly as it has been a really sunny day & they are pretty rare at the moment. Anyway, I got home shortly after 1pm & Jeff and I decided to have a sort out in the barn. Edward & Tubbs really are getting quite big now and as they have constant access to the outside, it seems silly to keep all of their things in the barn with them. So we moved their feed trough & water bowl outside and had a good old sweep inside. We also fished an unused bin out of the old open barn at the top of the field & cut the top off of it in order to use it as a second water bowl. E & T get through 2 of the current one, so I guessed an additional one would be a lot easier on me when I'm having to refill. Jeff dug a hole big enough to bury the bin a few inches into the ground - he's good my Jeff. The pigs were very inquisitive when he was digging - they were eating all the bits of root and worms that were being dug up. They really are such a delight to be around sometimes - Edward especially so now. He's really very friendly and loves nothing more that a little stroke on his nose. Tubbs is a lot more cheeky. Well, I'm considering it cheekiness rather than aggression - I don't trust her one bit when my back's turned. She loves to have a go at any dangly bit on my person - a belt, a baggy bit of trouser, whatever she can get hold of with her teeth. Anyway, the water bowls are both within very easy reach of a hose, so filling them up is going to be a lot easier. I think I'm finally getting the hang of this now. I'll admit my job has been made a million times easier because we have Jack & I have Jeff to help me, without them I'd have probably given up on this experiment a long time ago!

So, the barn's all clean and they have a pretty large space to just 'be' in now, rather than have to eat & drink & sleep. They're very lucky little pigs.

It's my day off tomorrow. From all jobs, dog & 'proper'. Obviously the pigs have to be taken care of, but I think I'm going to have a really lazy day. I haven't had one of them in a while & reckon I deserve it. If the weather's nice maybe we'll take Buddy to the beach, but other than that I'm going to do absolutely nothing except snuggle on the sofa. Mmmmm, can't wait.

Speak soon.

VP x

Buddy you disgusting little deviant

I now know why Buddy loves going in to see Edward & Tubbs. The little deviant loves to eat their turds!!! Jeff came in with me & Buddy last night - I wanted to show him how funny they were together. When Buddy went running through them out onto their patch, Jeff noticed how he went straight for the midden. He then came running back into their pen with one of their toys, jumped up onto their bed & started shaking the toy around in a frenzy. Jeff then smelt his breath. Yep, pig shit. Little git. Last time he goes outside where they go methinks. I just hope he doesn't catch brain worms or something equally as hideous.

It's sunny today, and I've got no 'proper' job to go to. Just me, the dogs, a couple of cats and the piggies. If the sun keeps shining, I'll take some more piccies after I've finished my chores.

Right, off to it then. Wont get anything done sitting here blogging will I?

VP x

Sorry Hugh...

... I had to remove your Chicken Out thing from my page. The dinging and stuff was getting on my nerves a bit.

I still love you though and still support your campaign!

VP x

PS Not sure why I'm addressing Hugh directly, am pretty sure he has better things to do with his time than read my blog.

I'm back!

Hi y'all!

Phew, made it back - totally shattered, it's been a bit of a whirlwind trip. That's what happens when you move away from friends and family - you end up having to fit everyone in when you make the trip back home. Aside from feeling now like I need to sleep for a week, I've had a lovely time. My friends and their children are all really good - the kids are growing up so fast, I hate that I don't get to see them as often as I used to. My brother & his girlfriend & their brood are all well & my maternal grandparents are both pretty good considering their age. My granddad's hilarious actually. He's been 'hanging on' - his words not mine - for about 20 years now. He's well into his 80's & has all his marbles and is absolutely petrified of death, so that's all he ever talks about! We'll miss him when he's gone, he's a real character. A proper granddad - he adores his great grandchildren as he did us when we were growing up. They have 13 grandchildren and 16 (I think!) great grand children. Not bad eh? They were obviously a bit bored back then in south east London... I spent a lovely day with my mum in Cambridge (her & her husband live near there now) yesterday - we were proper ladies who lunch. Just for the day of course!

Anyway, I digress! The pigs are both well - I'm pretty sure they missed me, they made lots of squealing noises when I went in to see them earlier. Either that or Jeff has forgotten to feed them while I've been away. Buddy came into the barn when I went in. For the first time, he actually came into their pen & it was really funny to watch. He didn't behave at all how he does around another dog - he sniffed them all over, sniffed their bed, sniffed their food & water and then went outside on their patch to have a good old nose around! I called him back in & he then used Edward as a tunnel to get outside the pen! He went right under his tummy, through his legs & then turned round & did it again! I wish I'd had a camera at the ready - it was hilarious! Edward didn't so much as turn round to look - he just carried on about his business as if nothing had happened! If the weather's alright tomorrow, I'm going to let Buddy in their patch with them for a bit - I'll take the camera.

I'm off to chill out now. Have my wine at the ready.

Speak tomorrow.

VP x

Off to sunnier climes!

Well, going down to London for a long weekend. It's got to be warmer than here right now... I did ask Jeff if he'd blog in my absence, but he's declined - he's having to do everything else though while I'm gone, so I suppose I can't blame him.

Anyway, I'm off in about half an hour, hoping to stay ahead of what's promising to be some pretty snowy conditions. I'm driving - really can't be bothered with the train these days.

I'll be back on Wednesday. Don't get up to anything mischievous in my absence.....

Ta ra for now.

VP x