Memories of Grandad Jim

Memories of our granddad Jim


Firstly, please forgive me in advance if my voice gets a bit wobbly, I’ve a feeling this is going to be a little emotional!

I’d like to start by saying how proud I am to be the oldest of our grandad’s many grandchildren & great grandchildren & it’s not very often you’ll hear me say I’m proud to be old. It truly is an honour that I’m able to stand here & speak on behalf of all of us about our brilliant grandad Jim.

Our grandad really was a great character; he & our nanny Kit have been amazing grandparents and really would do anything for any one of us. No matter how naughty we’d been! And believe me, some of us must have tested their patience over the years… In turn, we would have done anything for him & we did, up until the very last moment. We hope we did him as proud as he did us all of our lives.

My cousins & I thought it would give you some idea of what he meant & still means to us, by sharing with you some of our favourite & funny memories… This is just a few of the very many I received….

This is from Ben:

I will remember grandad for always making me laugh. Even during his very last days he had me in fits of laughter, filling my eyes with not crying tears, but laughing tears.

When I was about ten or eleven he and nanny took Casey, Sally, Peter & me to Broad Reeds holiday camp, near Bognor Regis for what was one of my favourite kids holidays, and apart from his usual moaning and groaning, and Casey & I having a tear up on the last day, we all had the best time and he looked after us all just like a Dad would have done.

In 1994, our family went to Florida. This was the last holiday I spent with my own dad, and Grandad being there only made it all the more enjoyable and memorable for me. Especially when on the flight home, my mum told the air hostess to tell grandad that the fish on the menu was a lovely piece of skate from Westmoreland Road. The silly old sod only believed her.

This is what sticks in Matthew, Bobby & Jimmy’s mind when they think of grandad:

There are so many memories of grandad, but for us growing up, a lot of them occurred at the infamous ‘Rye Hill Tenants Club’ where we would plead to join Dad, Grandad and Uncle Steven up the club every Sunday night, sitting mesmerised watching them play cards into the early hours. We could see the three Millers playing ‘tootsie’ under the table (in other words cheating against the other players) and yet come the end of the night we would say to Grandad “who won grandad?”, and he would always say “that poxy Alf again”!


Sally wanted to say this:

My grandad was the best. Grandad & I loved a glass of champagne, and when we were at a party he always got me up to dance. That all started when I was a little girl when we went on holiday & I got him up to dance. My grandad still thought I was that same little girl, and that’s why he always called me his little Sally. I love my grandad so much and always did anything I could for him. There will always be a piece of my heart broken now & I’ll never forget him. He meant the world to me and always will. I love you grandad.

When Sally shared this with me, it brought to mind one of my own earliest memories of our grandad – he’s obviously the reason why we all love to dance because from being tiny toddlers, he’d grab hold of our hands & put our little feet onto his & dance around with us to whatever happened to be playing on the record player, & even if nothing was playing, he’d sing to us one of his favourite tunes….

Little Harvey remembers:

There are loads of things I will remember about granddad Jim, but one that I really remember is when he rattled his teeth at me while they were still in his head, it made me cry, but every time I saw him, I made him do it again.

Little Harriett has this memory:

Climbing up the mountain is mine, and I make my daddy do it every night when he comes home from work.

Shelley & Ricky wanted to say:

Grandad to us was amazing, how he could share his love with so many of us. If we have to think of just one thing he taught us, it is to laugh, sing and love each other.


Louie remembers when Granddad taught him how to play cards and all of the tricks he used to teach him. And he remembers how grandad used to pretend he was throwing dice, shaking them in his hand, but making the sound by rattling his teeth & then taking them out.. also when Grandad used to play a trick and find fifty pence behind Louie’s ears and then give it to him. Louie also looked forward to telling grandad how many goals he had scored at football because he would give him a pound a goal.

Lucy remembers this:

When grandad took me, Jodie & Louie to Trafalgar square to feed all the pigeons and when he used to take us down to the shops and skip along with us and sing skip skip skip to the loo. Also when ever we stayed over, he used to play games with us like noughts and crosses and boxes. And he taught me how to play solitaire I still can't get the hang of that game.

Peter shared this memory:
I used to drive him to and from the Rye Hill Club in Peckham every Friday night to play cards. I would pick him up from there at about midnight and I would know as soon as he got in the car whether it was a profitable night or not. If he lost he wouldn’t say a word but if he won he would sing virtually all the way home, but when you asked him if it was a good night he would always say not bad, lost a couple of quid. This usually meant he won a tenner and I’d get my petrol money.
Casey told me:
My earliest memories are from when I was probably about 8 or 9, Saturday afternoons with Grandad and Steven usually at the flat up Rye Hill Park. We’d be watching the racing, a couple of losers down, and one of them would say “run down Cheltenham Road and put a bet on for me boy”. I would have a bit of a moan and grandad would say “go on I’ll time you see how long it takes you”. He’d write them on the betting slip give me the money and off I’d go running as fast as I could, thinking I was Shergar.
I suppose that was when Casey the racehorse era began.
Anyway, I’d get to the betting shop, open the door and say to some stranger “excuse me can you put this one for my grandad please”. Sure enough the stranger would put the bet on for me just like Grandad said. I would run all the way back, get in the lift, press floor number 5 (I couldn’t reach 7) and then run up the last 2 floors. Sure enough I’d get there and he would say “sorry boy I forgot to count”. He certainly kept me fit ! What he didn’t realise, was that I would use the “can you put this bet on for my grandad” trick for my own personal flutter from then on.
Sammy shared this with me – on hearing this, I realised our grandad’s false teeth played a huge part in all of our early years!
One of my first memories of my grandad was his "special dice teeth", I can’t remember how old I was, but from the first time he showed me his "dice teeth", I was amazed!

Another memory is from when my cousins, Jimmy, Tony, Casey, Peter, Matthew & me were playing outside & all came in for some drinks. We went in to the front room and came across our grandad sitting in his favourite chair with a soggy rollup stuck to his bottom lip that had gone out, watching his favourite geegee's on TV....What we found hilarious to the point where we were all crying with laughter was when the horse that grandad had had a bet on was doing well and every time the field went around a bend he was leaning so far over that he nearly fell out of his chair – totally oblivious to anyone else in the room. These are just 2 memories of many of my grandad Jim, now at peace with his daughter Susan, my beautiful mum.



Our Granddad always thought he knew best & would try to catch you out all the time with your spellings or a random trivia fact. This sticks in my mind so much that I did seriously consider a floral tribute of the word ‘phlegm’. I’m sure I would have spelled it wrong though granddad, so I thought better of it…

Enjoy your Mojo’s grandad & tell daddy & auntie Susan we told them to look after you.

Finally, to quote Ben, but I’m sure a thought shared by all of us:

If love is wealth Grandad, you were the richest man on the planet.

We did it

Got hitched, that is. It seems like an age away now, but we had a wonderful day - it was really special & intimate. The sun shone all day - amazingly as they predicted rain all day - and everything was perfect. We haven't been on our moon of honey yet - that has to wait until January as we need to make sure the kennels are pretty much empty of inmates so that the olds are able to cope by themselves for a few weeks. But, it's all booked & we're off to Thailand to learn how to play ping pong. I'm kidding, but I'm practicing my pelvic floor exercises, just incase. We are going to Thailand, but after spending 4 nights in a very swish looking Bangkok hotel, we fly down to the island of Krabi. Very excited! I've been to Thailand before, but about 19 years ago & I understand that Koh Samui where I spent most of my time is no longer the idyllic paradise it once was, but more like Benidorm! What a shame. Krabi, I believe is a lot less developed, but still has a bit going on in the towns - we need something other than just perfect beach as my new husband might just go a bit stir crazy. Hopefully, it will fulfill all of our expectations. Please don't comment otherwise if you've been there - it's booked now!!!

The kennels are gearing up for the bank holiday weekend & we're gearing up for the wedding party here in a few weeks. Jeff has a love rival it seems in the form of a Staffordshire Bull Terrier called Taz. More about him later..... for now, I'm off to hose the runs.

VP x

I'm back!

First thing's first - congratulations Malc! My pal on the Edge of Nowhere has two sows who have produced their first two litters - he has the UK's most northerly herd of Saddlebacks now! Well done Malc & Sal (& Molly & Kim of course!)

After much coaxing from a particular friend of mine (mentioning no names Claire) I've come out of self-induced blogging retirement & have decided to keep you updated with my daily antics. Antics is probably too strong a word actually - that makes it sound like I lead a life of real excitement!

I'm about to go to work in the kennels now, but I shall sit down later & let you know what I've been up to to bring you all up to speed. I hope you wont get too bored....

Speak in a bit.

VP x

It seems my guilt has started to pass...!

Jeff & I finally tasted some pork last night. Jeff insisted I get a couple of chops out of the freezer & really try to get over my negative feelings about it. I agreed & part of me was dreading it, but a teeny tiny part of me was actually looking forward to it. I had acupuncture earlier in the day & my therapist said that I should try to thank the pigs for the food they were putting on my plate & as hippy dippy as that sounded, that's what I did. It did make my eyes well up a bit, but I ate my chop & thoroughly enjoyed it. So much so, that I definitely do not want to give the rest of the meat away & I'm going to get more out of the freezer for Sunday lunch.

I'm so glad I enjoyed it - I was beginning to think that at the wedding hog roast, I'd be beating people away from the meat with sticks, screaming 'that's my Tubbs- how dare you eat her!!!' I feel that wouldn't have gone down too well as such a joyous occasion!

I still don't know if I want to keep pigs again - my feeling is not - not for now anyway, but it seems I change my mind like the bloody wind at the moment, so who knows??!!

Just over a week til the wedding (part 1 - the actual deed) and I'm getting butterflies in my tummy!

I'm off to visit my friends in London tomorrow. Just for 1 night, but it feels like I haven't seen them in ages and I'm really excited.

Have great weekends everyone (I hope I still have some readers left!)

(the not so) VP x

This is the end...

... of my journey into pig-keeping.

I got Edward (I've been trying to think of it as just meat, but can't) back on Saturday in pieces and although I haven't cried & got upset, I'm really not ok about it all. I've tried hard to detach myself & I know Edward & Tubbs would have been raised for meat regardless of my involvement, and I know they had a lovely life & were happy and enjoyed themselves, but I would be happier eating them had I not known them personally. So, I made the difficult decision to not pick up the weaners yesterday & I've hung my pig-keeping hat up. For now at least. Maybe I'll feel differently in a few weeks, but I just can't put myself through this again right now. Thankfully, I'm not in a situation where I have to continue - it's a terrible shame that the fabulous area in the barn that Jack fashioned for them is going to go to waste - I do feel really bad about that, but maybe I'll keep some chickens in there instead. At least it'll get used for something. And if all else fails, Jeff can claim it back for work-shop area for his furniture making hobby.

It's taken a lot of soul searching this weekend to come to this conclusion & I feel embarrassed having to tell you all that I'm wimping out, but I just can't do it, I'm really sorry. I know it's ridiculous, but I feel that after what I've done, I've been changed and I don't know if it's for the better in my head.

After coming to this decision, I've thought about becoming a vegetarian, but I don't know if I can or even if it's necessary for me to. I think that as long as I continue to source meat from the local farm shop where I know it's been raised in a non-intensive way, I'll still be keeping my newly found morals about meat. I just don't want to know the animals personally and I don't think that's a bad thing - or is it? I'd really like to hear your views on this, no matter what they are - I feel crap enough as it is, and maybe the opinions of you guys would help me be less blinkered.

So, the Virgin Porker is no longer a virgin porker & is out of business. What happens to my blog now?! Do I continue with tales of kennel life? Again, let me know what you think.

I hope you can all forgive me for wimping out, but mostly I hope I'll be able to come to terms with it all myself. It's bloody hard.

Alex x

Just call me the Grim Reaper

I swear I can here the Death March when I'm walking about now... It's been a death-filled week so far & there are still a couple of days left! You might remember me talking about Twinkle the very old cat who has been near to death the last few times she's been in? Well, the Grim Reaper has worked her magic & Twinkle no longer twinkles. Found her stiff as a board in her little pen.

Right, who can I kill next?

VP x

All's a little quiet for my liking

It's a bit odd not hearing Edward & Tubbs (I'm feeling stronger today & can use their names) grunting and snuffling around in the barn when I go in there & also not having their snouts pressed up against the gate and shouting for more grub when I'm sorting the dog's runs out... The piece of land they had to wander around on backs onto one lot of kennels you see... It's funny, but they were absolutely not fazed one bit by dogs' barks. It never seemed to bother them in the slightest. Good thing it didn't really I suppose as I could hardly have fashioned ear plugs for them! So it just feels weird not having them here & even John has said so. I feel really bad that after all of his hard work, Jack didn't get to say goodbye to them (he didn't come in on Monday as the snow stopped him travelling) - he seemed a bit sad when I told him they'd finally gone yesterday when he arrived. Still, he'll get to taste the fruits of our labour as I'll be giving him & his wife some meat when I get it back.

So, I'm already looking forward to the sound of little grunts and squeaks again when I pick Kitty & Joan up on Sunday. I have to confess, I'm feeling so brave now that I'm even thinking about maybe getting one more & breeding from her. DON'T TELL JOHN!!!

Hugh F-W had better watch out - this girl's on a roll.

Speak soon.

VP x

Well, it's done.

I woke up this morning with a headache & eyes that looked like a sheep's fanny. I made the big mistake last night of going in to see E & T (can no longer call them by their full names) after a couple of glasses of wine to say goodbye. It was awful, I just couldn't stop crying & felt physically sick at the thought of what I was going to do today. I gave them lots of cuddles & a good brush until Jeff came and rescued me - I think I would have ended up sleeping with them if I'd been left to my own devices...

So this morning, my eyes were puffy & red & I was absolutely dreading Trevor's arrival at 8. With every minute that passed, my heart was beating faster (literally, even though I know that sounds a bit dramatic). When he turned up, I just went into auto-pilot. I didn't think about what we were doing, it was just all hands on deck to try to get these two fairly huge pigs into the back of Trevor's trailer. I thought that not feeding them this morning would've helped, but to be honest it didn't! They came out of their pen ok, but then wanted to sniff & poke at bloody everything in sight. Trevor was behind them trying to push them along a bit faster with a big piece of board & Jeff was at the side of them guiding them in the direction we wanted them to go & I was in front of them with a feed bucket doing my best to get them to follow me. We got them to the foot of the trailer eventually, but getting them up the ramp was not easy. There was quite a bit of protest squealing & grunting & maybe a little bit of swearing but we finally got them up into the trailer. I've no idea how we could've done it any easier - if anyone out there has any tips, they'd be greatly appreciated...

So off Trevor & I went to the abattoir which is only about a 20 minute drive from here. It actually wasn't as bad as I thought it might be, although I was a bit put off by the size of the place. It's apparently a 'medium-sized' abattoir and I understand there are no longer any small ones near here, but I'm going to research that a bit more for my next pigs. There were quite a lot of vehicles pulling in at the same time - not huge trucks, but trailers. Nothing actually happened there which made me worry or believe they were going to be treated badly, nothing like that, but because they had a reasonable amount of livestock to deal with, E & T were left in a holding pen & Trevor & I had to leave them there. I was told they would be there an absolute maximum of 30 minutes, but I wasn't that happy as we drove off. They were actually fine - it's a lovely sunny day here & to be honest, I think they were just wondering what all the fuss was about - they happily trotted off up to the pen & were last seen snuffling around, marveling at the new sights & smells. There were no terrible noises coming from inside the building, I just would have rather them go straight in & be dealt with. Of course I know that nobody was mean to them after I left, but there's always a niggling voice telling you otherwise, isn't there? Especially when you're a worrier like I am! As Trevor said though, it's us who put a human perspective on the whole process - those two pigs were absolutely none the wiser about what was going to happen & I do honestly believe that.

I did get a bit teary after I'd seen their fat bums waddling off up the ramp, but I'm fine now, just a bit shell-shocked I suppose.

I'm still a little bit worried that I wont be able to eat their meat, but I'm sure after a couple of days, I'll feel differently. Trevor will have butchered E for us after they get delivered to him tomorrow & I'm going to pick the meat up on Friday from him. He's going to keep T on ice until the wedding party... So, all being well, we might just be having pork for Sunday lunch this weekend. I'll obviously let you know how that all goes!

So, lessons learned from this experience:

- never go in to say goodbye
- don't get so wound up about the whole thing, it's actually not that bad
- before the day of reckoning, get them used to moving from one area to another!

I'm amazed I've managed to do this, but I'm really proud of myself for doing it. Living in a city, I was so far removed from the food chain & never gave any of this stuff a second thought. This is real life and maybe if everyone got a little closer to it in some small way, we wouldn't have so much animal cruelty in the world, all for the sake of our tummies...

I'll have a drink to my two pigs this evening, I hope you'll all join me.

Speak soon.

VP x

They've been reprieved! Well, for a couple of days at least...

Spoke to Trevor this morning - the phone is back on at last. We're taking Eddie & Tubbs on Tuesday. Leaving here at 8am, so at least I don't have hours to watch them go about their day, knowing what's going to happen to them. It'll be up & at 'em without, hopefully, too much time to stress about it. I just need to figure how we're going to get them from the barn to the trailer. They came in a hell of a lot easier than they're going to go out!! Should be a fun morning. What with that & the inevitable tears, I'm gonna end up with a helluva headache, aren't I??

After I found this out, I spoke to the lady at the college & I'll get my 2 weaners on Sunday week - gives me time to disinfect the barn & make it all cosy for the babies' arrival. They're definitely going to be called Kitty & Joan. I've spoken to my nanny & she said she's honoured. Bless her. She said as long as they're fat & tasty like her, she's happy. She's so funny my nan.

Anyway, thought I should let you know as I've already had a message from my Fairy friend asking if I'm ok - she thought they'd gone. Thanks for your kind words Fairy, but hold those thoughts til Tuesday....

VP x

The Green Mile

As the day is nearing, I'm having great trouble getting to sleep. I keep seeing them wrenched off of their feet & having their throats cut. Damn that bloody Kill It, Cook It, Eat It programme... I think it's going to be tomorrow, but our home phone is out of order & I've had to be at the surgery all day today so I don't know whether the butcher has sorted it for the morning or Friday morning. The abattoir only takes them up to 11am, so if he's not here by 10ish, they'll have been reprieved for a day. I hope they are as the weather's due to be lovely tomorrow - it'll be nice to see them snuffling around in the sunshine for the last time. Oh God, just typing that has caused tears to prick my eyes.

Sorry for not blogging much of late, I'm feeling increasingly low as their end looms. Exacerbated by the fact that BT just can't seem to grasp how important it is to have a bloody landline here. Mobiles are out of range unless you walk up to the field & hang off of a tree & I can't sit at the pc all day. We might be living in the 21st century, but sometimes I feel that this little bit of County Durham is still nestled somewhere in the 18th century... I've no idea what the problem is, but the engineer who finally called in late this afternoon (reported the fault 2 days ago) said that he thinks it's a problem way down the line and that he'll have to pass it on to his 'underground engineers' who'll call me on my mobile to let me know what's going on. Cosmic.

I shall try to keep my chin up for the sake of the two new weaners who are still due to be coming this weekend or early next week. I'm thinking about names. Is it terrible of me to be considering naming them Kitty & Joanie after my nanny & her twin?

VP x

I feel like a bit of a fraud....

It's not like I'm a proper pig farmer, is it? I mean, I read all about my pal Malc's antics & he's really into this now - he has a couple of sows ready to pop their first litter & he's managing to take his first two pigs to their optimum weight before they go to slaughter. Having seen how big pigs get at the age of a year, I realise my two poor buggers are far from fully grown and they're going off probably next week! I know there are reasons why I'm having to do it sooner than I had hoped, but I feel bad about that and I also feel bad about the fact that all I'm doing is buying 2 more weaners to rear for meat. I'm doing it all a little bit clinically aren't I & not really 'getting my hands dirty'. Do you know what I mean? Am I being stupid?

Anyway, fraudulent pig farmer is what I am for the moment and I think that Eddie & Tubbs might be a bit too fat. They have a bit of a roll going on down their legs. I've no idea whether this is normal or not as I'm just a fraud, but it seems to me that the subject of how much I've been feeding them has reared it's ugly head again. Bit late now I know, and I suppose I wont know for sure until they're back from the abattoir... I can't believe how much of a dilemma this has been for me - I just hope that my lack of knowledge hasn't been to the detriment of the quality of their meat.....

We had a rodent-filled day yesterday. Jeff found a live rat in one of the traps in the barn (it's a humane trap, don't worry), but he obviously then did away with the said ratty once he found him.... I also came into the lounge to discover Halle Berry & Buddy being 'bessies' under the desk I'm currently sitting at. 'Strange', I thought, they don't usually sit so close to eachother without one of them being asleep. It didn't take long to realise that they were in fact both staring at the very same spot underneath Jeff-bob's guitar. And then I saw it's cute little nose & whiskers poking out. Halle Berry had brought in a little mouse and they were both there waiting for it to come out, gasping it's last little breaths as Halle had obviously played around with it so much that it was near to death. Buddy does make me laugh though, he just kept whimpering while he looked at it - he has a heart, bless him. Not like that little brown serial killer child of mine.

I couldn't just leave it there, but I absolutely hate having to pick up mice. Ridiculous I know. By the time I'd found a suitable receptacle to put it in, it had moved across to the other corner of the room. I'm not quite sure whether that was of it's own accord or whether the furry brown killer had picked it out from it's hidey hole. When I finally got to it, it was no longer of this world. I very bravely picked it up & put it in the wheelie bin. Jeff wasn't here to tell me whether or not that was the right thing to do. Are you allowed to just wheelie bin them? God, I'm such a girl...

I'm talking to a florist on Saturday about flowers for the wedding. I don't want anything grand, just something simple & some button holes for the men & corsages for the ladies. There will only be a dozen of us at the ceremony, so it's not going to cost an arm & a leg. Although as soon as you mention 'wedding' to these shop people, you can practically see their eyes light up & pound signs appear. Bastards. I might wear my wellies there just so they think I'm a proper poor pig farmer, not the fraud I truly am....

Speak soon.

VP x

I've chosen them!

The two new weaners that is. Jeff & I went to the college earlier today & met with Janet, the farm manager there who's lovely & even though she's extremely busy (they're about to open their doors to the public tomorrow), took an hour out of her time to show us around. Bloody nora, until we went there, I thought Edward & Tubbs were quite a size - they look absolutely tiny in comparison to the fully grown sows & boars they have at the farm! I realise the adult pigs there are all at least a year old, but it just brought home to me the fact that I'm having to send E & T an awful lot earlier than I would really have liked to. Still, I've definitely learned a lesson this time round & my next two will go to at least 8 months old. I've chosen a British Lop (the rarest breed in Britain apparently) and a Saddleback cross - I can't remember what the sow was crossed with (when I speak to Janet again, I'll find out), but the piglet I picked out is gorgeous - almost totally black with a little white blaze on her head and a touch of pink on her nose. Both piglets are still with their brothers and sisters and are still being fed by their mums, but they're due for weaning next week so I'll pick them up the weekend after Edward & Tubbs go - around the 12th/13th.

So I now having something to look forward to, which is helping take the edge off of E & T going. Everybody said I should do this because it'll make sending off my piggy babies that much easier & yes, I do feel better now.

Speak soon.

VP x

The end is nigh....

Trevor (the butcher) came yesterday. Edward & Tubbs will be going the week after next. Probably Wednesday April 2nd. He's going to call me once he's arranged it with the abattoir so I can sort the movement licences out etc. He left and I immediately came & told Jeff. Amazingly I didn't get upset. A bit sad, yes but certainly not tearful. I think that made me feel bad though!

Why was I not shedding a tear for my (not so) little pigs?!

I went in to see them after he'd gone & gave them a little scratch & a stroke. They were both behaving themselves - they're so cute when they're like that - all warm & snuggled in their straw. They were trying to look me in the eye. I tried to avoid contact! As much as I'm fine about all of this now, it still feels very strange going through this process - sending a perfectly healthy live animal to it's death. Having said that, I've made a list already of how I want Edward to be butchered. Tubbs'll be the wedding feast, but Rock Steady's going to be our main meat supply for hopefully a good few months to come. Sounds very clinical doesn't it? But, that's the way it is & I'm actually looking forward to tasting them. I'm hoping they'll be vastly different to any other pork I've ever had. If they're not, I'll be mightily pissed off, I can tell you!

I'll call the lady at the college on Tuesday to arrange to pick out a couple of newbies. I want some chickens as well. They can all live in the barn together. I'd like to rescue a few hens from the Battery Hen Welfare Trust. I thought that might boost my somewhat depleted karma after E & T have gone to piggy heaven...

Took a photo of Halle Berry last night. She's been jumping in the log basket lately & having a rummage before jumping out again. We thought she might have been going in there to poo, but luckily she isn't. Don't know what fun she has - there are probably spiders in there that she eats. Anyway, I managed to catch her before she jumped out - quite a funny photo. She looks evil!



Speak soon.

VP x

I survived! Hurrah!

Bonjour tout le monde! We arrived back on Tuesday & now's the first chance I've had to sit down and actually write something. What with the piles of washing, piles of ironing & trying to placate my furry kids so that they know we're not about to leave them again, it's been non-stop! We had a lovely holiday, the snow held out for us & the sun shone gloriously for a few days. We took extra special care to ensure we didn't get a bad case of goggle face - now that wouldn't look good for our big day, would it? And we're refreshed & raring to go. Well, sort of. I always need a bit of coaxing to get raring... the good intent's there, I just get a bit of the post-holiday blues when I come home. I'd rather live in France you see. Have wanted to live there for a very long time & one day I'm pretty sure that dream will come true, but for now I have to make do with England. Sorry to all of those who read this who love their motherland, but I think I was born to be French & love all things French. Except andouilettes. Eugh. Anyway, we had a marvellous time - Liz & Ian (who we stayed with) were wonderful hosts and we can't wait to go back to see them. Their chalet is beautiful and they have 3 lovely dogs - one of whom I took an extra special shine to (sorry Buddy). His name's Charlie - here are a couple of pictures. Look how handsome he is. I also love the fact that you can take dogs into restaurants over there...





More importantly, I'm getting better at boarding! I spent an awful lot less time on my derriere than I did last year! I'm still lacking confidence regarding getting some speed up, but I'm sure that will improve on next year's holiday. Yay! I'm a dude! Well, maybe....

I was expecting Edward & Tubbs to look much bigger than they were when I left them, but in actual fact I initially didn't notice any difference in their size. However, since being in with them again, they've definitely got wider & a lot more 'filled out'. I was expecting the butcher to come yesterday to check on their progress (he wants to make sure Tubbs doesn't get too big for the spit), but he got called away elsewhere, so he'll come over in the next couple of days. I have a feeling though that the end is nigh.... It's funny, I feel totally detached from them at the moment. I suppose being away for a week has helped and I have to say I didn't miss them at all. Is that bad?? Of course I don't wish them any harm, but I can honestly say I'm not going to have any trouble doing this. I still think I'll shed a tear, I'm not a heartless cow, but I'm at ease with it all now. Once we know when they'll be going, I'll get in touch with the lady at the college about the two newbies.

It's a miserable old day here today (as I think it is pretty much everywhere) & the rest of the weekend doesn't look much better. The pigs are in a quagmire - I struggle to stay on my feet when I go in with them...

Anyway, I'd better get going for now - the kennels are gearing up for the weekend today, we're pretty much full by the end of tomorrow so it's going to be a busy weekend.

Speak soon.

VP x

I'm such a bad mom & Mrs-to-be

I'm abandoning my children. Furry & hairy kinds that is. I don't have any of the pink flesh kind. Not yet anyway. And if I did, I'd probably be abandoning them too. The thing is, I don't really feel very guilty. I'm toe-tapping & sit-down-dancing to a Soul Wax mix as I type. That's not the behaviour of a woman who's guilty, is it?? When I say abandon, of course I don't mean properly abandon, before someone out there calls the RSPCA. I'm leaving my brood in the care of John & Barbara. Jeffers & I are off snowboarding! Woo hoo! And the reason I'm a terrible girlfriend is because I've gone & lost Jeff's sunglasses. It's the 3rd pair of sunglasses I've lost in the last 2 years. I'm not to be trusted. The most annoying thing about it (to me, that is - not Jeff, he's just plain annoyed) is that I love those sunglasses - I wear them all the time & they really suit me. Darn it. I'll just have to wear my own now. No doubt I'll lose them too... To top it all, I've not blogged in nearly a week! How crap am I??! I'm sorry, there's just been tons of stuff to do this week & the wedding plans are in full 'can we talk about something other than getting married now' flow. It's driven us both a little crazy. Of course it's exciting & lovely & you only do it once (well, twice in my case but we'll gloss over that one), but I'm so glad it's only next month - I'd go properly mad if it was any later in the year. I'm having to take about 20 Kalms a day already. I'm all about the hard drugs, me.

Anyway, Edward & Tubbs are good - they're none the wiser about us going away & John has all of the necessary instructions re feed etc.

So, I shall say adieu for just over a week - we're back on the 17th & hopefully I'll still have a fully working body in order to be able to let you know how it went. Not being pessimistic or anything, but it'll be sods law I break something 6 weeks before my wedding day. A divorced bride in a plaster cast. Dead classy.

Take care everyone, speak soon.

VP x

They mugged me for my doughnuts!

If they had hoodies, they'd have ASBO's by now, for sure....

I went up to the village for some groceries & popped into the little Co-op & found a bag of apples & a bag of 10 jam doughnuts on the whoopsie counter. Ahhh, I thought, I'll treat Edward & Tubbs & give them a few apples and a doughnut each for their tea & their breakkie over the next few days... I came back home all pleased with myself for being so lovely & thrifty all at the same time & told Barbara (my mum-in-law-to-be) of my purchase. She said she had a little bunch of grapes that were past their best & that I could chuck them in the trough too.

Off I went to the patch with a smile on my face & quite possibly whistling. I wasn't whistling, but you get the picture, I was feeling pretty chilled & totally not ready for what came next. I should have known there was trouble ahead when they were standing high on their midden looking like they meant business. They had also been doing some landscape gardening it seemed - there's a few paving slabs in their patch which I use to step on to fill their trough, in an attempt to stay mud-free. The slabs have been there long before E &T and were quite solidly set. Well, there were a few of them that had been tossed to one side & the trough was tipped over & all their footballs had quite obviously been played with. Still, in I went & they came running straight over to me - Tubbs trying to bite at my knees & Edward standing slightly back but I'm sure I could hear him egging her on. I frantically threw the bunch of grapes in their trough hoping they would distract them while I got a couple of doughnuts & apples out of my bag. I know, I know, I should have got them out of the bag before I went in there, but I didn't. Anyway, they took one look at the grapes & looked back up at me with that 'we know there's better stuff than this in that bag' look & ran at me, squeaking & honking & tore the bag from my hand!!! The apples & doughnuts went everywhere & they proceeded to hoover everything up before my eyes. I scrabbled to try to save some of the doughnuts & managed to get 3 back in my bag & I literally ran out of there!! My heart was racing, my cheeks were flushed & I certainly wasn't whistling!

Bloody little hooligans.

VP x

I found her

The happy medium Alex that is. I think I was just feeling particularly emotional on Tuesday. Time of the month & all that... Anyway, I feel much happier now. Still not over the moon about the whole thing, but certainly able to see everything for what it is. I've spoken to the lady at the local agricultural college as well and I'm going to go to see her piglets when we get back from holiday & reserve a couple. I'll have a good clean out of the barn once E & T go and then the weaners can move in a few days later. I'll then take them to the age that I wanted to take E&T to - about 9 months and they can be ready for Christmas. I can't wait to have some piggies through the summer - I'm sure it's going to be so much easier - not that it's been difficult keeping Ed & Tubbs, but with frozen pipes and ground, it's not been very enjoyable on some days... I tell you what though, I've either been very lucky, or H F-W is absolutely right and keeping pigs is a breeze. Once we'd sorted out the hatch & the outside area and they had access to the outside all of the time, I've gone through hardly any straw and have to do very very little mucking out. They eat & drink & poo & wee outside. Brilliant. I do think they're getting a bit big for their raised bed now - I tend to find them on the floor in the barn with all of their straw around them - I might move the bed out of there now & just keep them on the floor. The bed can be disinfected & moved back in for the weaners.

The rats seem to be back with a vengeance at the moment. Not sure why - we managed to get rid of them for a while. Not completely I'm sure, but there was definitely no sign of them for a good few weeks. I don't mind them munching on the odd bit of food that escapes the trough, but what I do object to is that they eat their way through the bags of feed that are in the barn unopened. I'll get Jack on the case when he turns up - he's the king of the rat trappers.... What I need is Malc's Spike for a few days - I'm sure they'd bugger off pronto then!

Jeff & I go to register our notice at the Civic Centre this afternoon & we're then going to have a look at the hotel's private dining area where we'll be having our wedding supper after the ceremony. I'm really excited - it's a lovely sunny Spring-like day & it'll be nice having a wander through Newcastle - it's a beautiful little city for those of you who've never been.

Well, I need to go get clean for my Jeff & our appointment - I'll speak to you all later.

VP x

We have a plan & I don't feel fine

The butcher has just left. We're going to send both Edward & Tubbs together at the beginning of April. He'll turn Ed into joints & chops and will prepare Tubbs for the spit & will freeze her until the wedding party. He's going to take them himself to the abattoir & has said that I can come as well. I told him he needs to be prepared for tears on the day & he said he totally understands. We discussed him slaughtering them here, which he said he's more than happy to do, but we'll need a huge vat of boiling water & I don't think that'll be logistically possible. Also, as soon as he mentioned the huge vat of boiling water, it all became much more real & I don't know if I could deal with knowing that was going on just behind the barn door. I don't know, I'll discuss it with Jeff tonight & see what he thinks. A part of me would like it done here - for reasons I've mentioned before, but now it's all becoming very much more a fact rather than just something that's being spoken about, I don't think I can go through with that. At least if they're away from here & I've gone with them, all the nasty bit is done away from ear/eye shot.

When he left, I really cried. I know I have to do this & I know I will do this, but I'm really sad at doing it. It's such a strange feeling - of course, I've never had to go through anything like this before & I suppose everything I've felt up to this stage has been new to me, but blimey this bit's horrible. I'm a very caring person (at least I think I am) and am finding it increasingly difficult to be 'matter of fact' about the whole process.... The 'tough' Alex is looking on the bright side - at least we'll be able to have a whole hog roast, and at least I can go with them to try to keep them a bit calm. The 'soft' Alex is screaming - NO!!! LET THEM LIVE FOREVER! I'm trying desperately to find the 'happy medium' Alex! If you see her anywhere, can you ask her to give me a call.....

VP x

They're at it again....

.... being lovable. They know, I swear they know....

Well, it looks like I'll definitely be getting a couple more weaners at the beginning of April, when Edward goes off to piggy heaven. And food plate heaven, but we wont mention that right now. The wonderful farmer's wife up the road (where I got E&T from) has spoken to the lady who runs the farm bit of the local agricultural college & she will have some piglets ready for when I need them. Great stuff. I'm not sure what they are, but to be honest, I'm not that fussed providing they're gilts or castrated boars. I'm going to telephone her on Monday to finalise the arrangement. I shall let you know what I'm getting then. Maybe I'll be able to go see them as tiny little piglets & I'll take a few piccies, I hope so.

When we were up at the farm shop, their weaners who were born at Christmas were out & about. My goodness, it's hard to imagine Edward & Tubbs were so small! They were all so inquisitive & came running up to us for a little scratch. It was lovely! I can't wait to get the newbies now and I'm hoping (as everyone who's done this before has told me it will) that their arrival will soften the blow of my little Ed going. Fingers, toes and dangly bits crossed for me please....

Speak soon.

VP x

I've had to make a difficult decision....

After having received some advice from couple of members on the British Saddlebacks forum, I've had to make a decision about Edward. I'm afraid he's going to have to go to slaughter earlier than I'd hoped. He'll need to go in April, when he's 6 months old, for 2 reasons. The first is that I run the risk of boar taint after this age - this is when the meat is tainted with a pretty rank flavour which is caused by him reaching sexual maturity. If he had been castrated as a piglet, I wouldn't have had this problem, but he wasn't & so I do. I suppose this is maybe a good reason to castrate boars - I know from various things I've read, a lot of people frown upon this practice, but if he had been, he'll be able to live a longer life. I think I know which I would have preferred... The 2nd reason is that because he'll have reached sexual maturity (and so will Tubbs - his sister), I cannot run the risk of him successfully doing the deed with her. Her cycles will come every 3 weeks apparently from this age & the last thing I'd want is for her to get pregnant. So, the plan is to get 2 more weaners to keep her company when he goes. She can then become the hog roast for our wedding feast & the two newbies will go for slaughter around Christmas. If all this goes to plan, it's then our intention to have a break for a few months as Jeff & I will take our honeymoon next January / February time & then we'll get our next two in Spring 2009.

I feel really sad (as I knew I would) and I'm letting horrible thoughts enter my head about Edward's end. I've become far too attached to him (and her), and maybe I should have kept my distance more. But how can you when you have only 2 & they rely on you for everything? Maybe if you're a farmer on a much grander scale, it all becomes less personal, but for me it's going to be hard. I know I'll go through with it, but I do know that I'm going to be really upset. I can feel the tears pricking my eyes now as I type. Oh goodness, this is hard! I really want to go with him to the abattoir - not to watch, but just to be there for him. I'm going to ask if I'm able to.

On a brighter note, it's warmed up. The taps are finally working & I've just given everything a really good hose down. I feel ridiculously satisfied about having running outside taps! It's amazing how difficult it is without them. It's pretty grey & a bit drizzly, but I'm so glad it's not sub zero. I think Ed, Tubbs & the inmates are pleased too!

I'm off to the 'proper' job now so need to go shower. Speak later.

VP x

Bloody hell it's parky out there!

Went down to -8 last night, it was bloomin' cold! It's not gone above freezing at all today - outside looks pretty magical, well it did when it was still light, but it's been absolutely bitter. There was no sunshine, just that freezing fog that never lifts - the really eerie stuff that you can imagine a headless horseman galloping out of. Well, I can with my forever active imagination... I think all sorts when I'm out and about round here. I think it's do do with my London upbringing. I'm forever thinking some crazy axe murderer is going to jump out of the bushes. Anyway, the ground's all frozen, the taps are not working, and it's been very difficult to do anything other than just stay warm. I fell arse over tit this morning and am aching like mad now - the ground behind the kennels was like an ice rink and one of the dogs has to be fed in his run so I was taking his bowl of food round to him & my left leg just slipped underneath me. Blimey it hurt & the food was absolutely everywhere. I didn't manage to block my fall with anything so I landed with an almighty thud on the outside of my left arm. I'm going to feel it tomorrow I'm sure...

Eddie & Tubbs are as cosy as they can be - I've given them extra food & a lot more straw than they would normally have and they've spent most of the day just huddled together on their bed. They really pump out some heat between them though, I'm sure they're not suffering at all. They have more than a pig ark which is what most piggies of their kind have, and they're pretty big these days, so I'm not worried about them. I just hope it gets a bit warmer soon! The poor inmates must be absolutely frozen! They do have panel heaters in their kennel blocks, but the buildings are just single skin breeze block with a bit of render, so they're not exactly toasty! I've put extra blankets in with each dog, so they're happy enough. I'm sure they're all looking forward to going home to their sofas though!

OK, here comes the sentence:

Hog roast sorted - the butcher with the gear is free on the day of the party, marquee is hired, invite's on it's way (electronic - much more eco-friendly & a lot less hassle than post), wedding list sorted, dress bought, pretty much everyone told to save the date. There, one sentence. I didn't say it would be a short sentence, did I?! I swear I should have been an events manager.

It feels like I haven't been off of the 'phone since we announced to the world we're getting hitched - I'm absolutely shattered!

Off to snuggle up with my Jeff now.

VP x

Ding Dong

Well, it's official folks. Jeff & I are getting wed! On our 4th anniversary which is April 29th - yes, this year!! - with a celebratory party on June 14th, here at the Burn. Some hectic arrangements have been made already, with obviously still more to do, but I'm absolutely ecstatic - the happiest I've ever been! The actual wedding day will be very small, just our parents and a couple of witnesses, but the party is rapidly turning into a pretty huge affair! We think (and we do believe this will be a fitting end, although I don't know how I'll feel on the day) that one of the pigs will provide the food in the form of a hog roast - perfect timing really. We need to make some hasty telephone calls to make sure that people save the date, including those friends that might be reading this - we realise it's pretty short notice!

Please don't worry - I'm not going to gush on about weddings every day now - I just wanted to share my VERY happy news with everyone! Well, maybe I'll limit myself to just a sentence a day - surely you can grant me that??!

It's another absolutely stonkingly beautiful day here again and Edward & Tubbs are enjoying the wonderful sunshine. Their water trough was actually completely frozen solid this morning - goodness knows how cold it got last night, but I'm glad I was under my cosy down duvet, I can tell you! I've put a couple of large bowls of water in their barn so that they can at least drink liquid, rather than crunching on ice... When I went in a little while ago, they were both asleep and woke up as soon as I opened the gate. I sat down on their bed & was singing along to that Newton Faulkner track (it was playing on the radio - you know the one, 'there's a place I go, when I'm on my own', I can't remember what it's called, but that's not important (!!)), and little Edward just looked at me & then lay back down again almost like I was singing him a lullaby! He's just so lovely, I really am having difficulty imagining sending him off. I honestly don't know if I can do it. I need to get my head round it though because I know it has to happen. I think Tubbs is going to have to be the hog roast in June - I couldn't bear to watch Rock Steady turning around on a spit.... Even Tubbs I'll have trouble with, but definitely not as much as my little Ed. Oh goodness me, this is SO hard!!!

I can't believe I did this & equally I can't believe I'm going to tell you all, but I feel I must pay a penance of sorts, so feel free to send me your emails of hate. I ate cruelty chicken last night. Sorry. Well, I assume it was cruelty chicken - it came from the local Indian. I was weak. I hang my head in shame and vow never to do it again.

Bye for now.

VP x

In a rush!

Really really sorry - been absolutely rushed off my feet today & now I have to go out - we're out tonight in Newcastle & wont be back til tomorrow late afternoon - will write more then, promise.

The cake seemed to work(!!) I'll fill you in tomorrow.....

VP x

How bloody good am I??!

It's 8:30 am and I've just made Jeff a passionfruit curd layered Victoria Sponge. Geddit? He wont see it til he gets home from work, but if this doesn't get him to pop the question, I don't know what will!

Happy Valentine's Day to all you lovers out there!

VP x

Amazingly, another beautiful day!

Hi! It's another lovely day here in County Durham - a pretty chilly & frosty start, but I just love those sorts of days, when you know that once the mistiness in the air clears, the sun will come though & the skies will be blue. You can smell it, can't you? Well, I can but maybe that's just my huge bloodhound nose.... Anyway, I took Buddy up to the top paddock with his ball & my camera

and then we went in to see Edward & Tubbs....

Buddy, what are you after in that midden????!

Consequently, when we got back he had to have a bath - which he absolutely hates, so I'm as wet as him now, trying to dry my kennel trousers as I type. Please don't imagine me sitting here blogging in my undies - it's not a pretty sight.

I went to the farm shop this morning & was discussing with the butcher 'the end'. I think I'm going to try to go to the abattoir - I need to see what it's like. Apparently, it's not as small as I thought it was so I want to make sure it's where I'm going to send them. I know 'the end' is 'the end' no matter where they go, to a certain extent, but it's not to me. I've loved & nurtured this pair of pigs and they've been really happy and I really don't want their last half hour, or however long it'll be from the moment I send them in the truck to the moment they die, to be traumatic. I'd like them to really be none the wiser until the last possible minute. There are a few abattoirs not far from here & I've heard some good things said about a much smaller set-up near Bishop Auckland. I'm going to do some research....

I also had to get some more feed while I was out. I tell you what, I know this was never going to be a money-making experiment, but by the time 'the end' comes, I reckon in total these two will have cost me near on £500 from start to total finish (butchery & all). Not cheap. I can now totally appreciate why it's difficult to get good meat these days. I think if this whole thing goes to plan & I do get a couple more once E&T are gone, I think I'm going to have to start mixing up my own feed. It's surely got to be cheaper than £10 a bag, which is what I'm currently paying for the Allen & Page stuff. I do mix it with some slightly cheaper pellets (still £8.50 a bag though!) and some barley to make it go further - and they obviously get peelings etc as & when I have them, but it's a pretty expensive experiment! I still think I'm going wrong somewhere. Any tips greatly appreciated. Malc, Claire, Fairy?

Well, I'm going to get out there while the sun's still shining. The days are definitely getting longer now, but once it gets to about 3:30, when the sun gets low in the sky, there's a real chill in the air. Jeff's away tonight - I hate it when he's not here. Still, at least I wont have to watch Newsnight - every cloud has a silver lining eh?

Bye for now.

VP x

Blimey!

Over 400 hits on my blog! Amazing! I do realise that probably 370 are me, checking to see how many hits I've had, maybe 10 are Malc, my fellow pig pal who lives in the middle of nowhere. Well, on the edge of it actually. Then maybe 10 are my friend Claire & the other 10 are my little fairy friend in Edinburgh. Honestly though, I really do find it amazing that possible 'strangers' are reading this along with the very few I know of - you might think I'm just being insincere when I say this, but I really am very grateful to everyone (Malc, Fairy, Claire (!!)) who is reading this.

Anyway, back to the pigs. I love 'em! They're being so good lately. They make absolutely no mess in their barn, except for scattering their straw everywhere but that's not a big deal to pitch fork back in place a couple of times a day & they're being very nice to me whenever I go in with them. I reckon someone's been whispering in their ear my intentions & they're trying to win me over.... Whatever the reason, they're very happy now & Malc if you're reading - you'd bloody better be - once you get your pen sorted, I reckon Eric & Ern will be different pigs. It's really made a difference to me. I feel like I've been made a bit redundant to be honest! If I hang around after they've been fed & watered, they just look at me as if I'm in the way! Ahh, little Edward (can you tell by now that he's my favourite - I know a mother shouldn't have favourites, but until I develop trotters I'm not really their mother, am I?) always comes up to me, even while there's still food in their trough and gives me a little sniff & a honk. I do think they honk rather than oink most of the time. Actually, 'honk' & 'yip' - they tend to be their greetings of choice. The yip is generally when I'm taking my time filling their trough & they both head butt the bowl I put the feed in as if to try to hurry me up. I've had to break the ice on top of their waters since I put them outside - although we've had glorious sunny days, the nights have been below freezing.

I was busy doing nothing all day yesterday (as promised), well, we went to the beach with Buddy & his friend Baz, a beautiful whippet who's owned by a friend who lives up in the village. We also went on a date - yes, I know, another one - maybe he's going to propose soon - last night to see Juno. Can recommend it for anybody who likes the cinema. I've also been busy today - had to go to the 'proper' job this afternoon. Tomorrow I'm here all day so you can bet it's going to rain.

Jeff & I are trying not to get too excited - we're off snowboarding in 4 weeks!! No idea who's going to look after Edward & Tubbs at the moment. Any offers? Claire? Fairy? Malc??!! John (Jeff's dad) is on standby - he's not very happy at the prospect though!!

I'm onto my second large glass of vin rouge (I'm getting in the French mood already!) - can you tell? I ramble on when I'm squiffy. Maybe I should drink more often, you'd have more to read then. Anyway, I must go - Lost is on in 20 minutes - missed it last night due to the date, and I need to clear up the dinner things before it starts. Bye for now.

VP x

Everything's all ship shape

I was at my 'proper' job this morning, annoyingly as it has been a really sunny day & they are pretty rare at the moment. Anyway, I got home shortly after 1pm & Jeff and I decided to have a sort out in the barn. Edward & Tubbs really are getting quite big now and as they have constant access to the outside, it seems silly to keep all of their things in the barn with them. So we moved their feed trough & water bowl outside and had a good old sweep inside. We also fished an unused bin out of the old open barn at the top of the field & cut the top off of it in order to use it as a second water bowl. E & T get through 2 of the current one, so I guessed an additional one would be a lot easier on me when I'm having to refill. Jeff dug a hole big enough to bury the bin a few inches into the ground - he's good my Jeff. The pigs were very inquisitive when he was digging - they were eating all the bits of root and worms that were being dug up. They really are such a delight to be around sometimes - Edward especially so now. He's really very friendly and loves nothing more that a little stroke on his nose. Tubbs is a lot more cheeky. Well, I'm considering it cheekiness rather than aggression - I don't trust her one bit when my back's turned. She loves to have a go at any dangly bit on my person - a belt, a baggy bit of trouser, whatever she can get hold of with her teeth. Anyway, the water bowls are both within very easy reach of a hose, so filling them up is going to be a lot easier. I think I'm finally getting the hang of this now. I'll admit my job has been made a million times easier because we have Jack & I have Jeff to help me, without them I'd have probably given up on this experiment a long time ago!

So, the barn's all clean and they have a pretty large space to just 'be' in now, rather than have to eat & drink & sleep. They're very lucky little pigs.

It's my day off tomorrow. From all jobs, dog & 'proper'. Obviously the pigs have to be taken care of, but I think I'm going to have a really lazy day. I haven't had one of them in a while & reckon I deserve it. If the weather's nice maybe we'll take Buddy to the beach, but other than that I'm going to do absolutely nothing except snuggle on the sofa. Mmmmm, can't wait.

Speak soon.

VP x

Buddy you disgusting little deviant

I now know why Buddy loves going in to see Edward & Tubbs. The little deviant loves to eat their turds!!! Jeff came in with me & Buddy last night - I wanted to show him how funny they were together. When Buddy went running through them out onto their patch, Jeff noticed how he went straight for the midden. He then came running back into their pen with one of their toys, jumped up onto their bed & started shaking the toy around in a frenzy. Jeff then smelt his breath. Yep, pig shit. Little git. Last time he goes outside where they go methinks. I just hope he doesn't catch brain worms or something equally as hideous.

It's sunny today, and I've got no 'proper' job to go to. Just me, the dogs, a couple of cats and the piggies. If the sun keeps shining, I'll take some more piccies after I've finished my chores.

Right, off to it then. Wont get anything done sitting here blogging will I?

VP x

Sorry Hugh...

... I had to remove your Chicken Out thing from my page. The dinging and stuff was getting on my nerves a bit.

I still love you though and still support your campaign!

VP x

PS Not sure why I'm addressing Hugh directly, am pretty sure he has better things to do with his time than read my blog.

I'm back!

Hi y'all!

Phew, made it back - totally shattered, it's been a bit of a whirlwind trip. That's what happens when you move away from friends and family - you end up having to fit everyone in when you make the trip back home. Aside from feeling now like I need to sleep for a week, I've had a lovely time. My friends and their children are all really good - the kids are growing up so fast, I hate that I don't get to see them as often as I used to. My brother & his girlfriend & their brood are all well & my maternal grandparents are both pretty good considering their age. My granddad's hilarious actually. He's been 'hanging on' - his words not mine - for about 20 years now. He's well into his 80's & has all his marbles and is absolutely petrified of death, so that's all he ever talks about! We'll miss him when he's gone, he's a real character. A proper granddad - he adores his great grandchildren as he did us when we were growing up. They have 13 grandchildren and 16 (I think!) great grand children. Not bad eh? They were obviously a bit bored back then in south east London... I spent a lovely day with my mum in Cambridge (her & her husband live near there now) yesterday - we were proper ladies who lunch. Just for the day of course!

Anyway, I digress! The pigs are both well - I'm pretty sure they missed me, they made lots of squealing noises when I went in to see them earlier. Either that or Jeff has forgotten to feed them while I've been away. Buddy came into the barn when I went in. For the first time, he actually came into their pen & it was really funny to watch. He didn't behave at all how he does around another dog - he sniffed them all over, sniffed their bed, sniffed their food & water and then went outside on their patch to have a good old nose around! I called him back in & he then used Edward as a tunnel to get outside the pen! He went right under his tummy, through his legs & then turned round & did it again! I wish I'd had a camera at the ready - it was hilarious! Edward didn't so much as turn round to look - he just carried on about his business as if nothing had happened! If the weather's alright tomorrow, I'm going to let Buddy in their patch with them for a bit - I'll take the camera.

I'm off to chill out now. Have my wine at the ready.

Speak tomorrow.

VP x

Off to sunnier climes!

Well, going down to London for a long weekend. It's got to be warmer than here right now... I did ask Jeff if he'd blog in my absence, but he's declined - he's having to do everything else though while I'm gone, so I suppose I can't blame him.

Anyway, I'm off in about half an hour, hoping to stay ahead of what's promising to be some pretty snowy conditions. I'm driving - really can't be bothered with the train these days.

I'll be back on Wednesday. Don't get up to anything mischievous in my absence.....

Ta ra for now.

VP x

Not much to report really....

It's all been a bit quiet in the last few days. The weather's been ok, the kennels aren't very busy, my 'proper' job, where I have to look and smell a bit better than I usually do these days has been fine and Edward & Tubbs are coming along nicely. They seem to be a lot less reliant on me now - they're very happy in their barn and spend most of the day outside, especially when it's sunny. I obviously go in a couple of times a day to feed & brush them (I'm finding the brushing is making their hair & skin a lot better), but other than that, I'm leaving them to themselves. Jeff threw a couple of old footballs in with them this afternoon & said that Edward was really funny with them - picking them up with his teeth & tossing them into the air. I wasn't here to witness this - I've been out this afternoon, but if the weather's ok & I can get in with them tomorrow without getting eaten, I'll post another video. If the truth be told, I am trying to distance myself a bit - if I spend too much time with them, I know I'll find it even harder to part with them in a few months. I even managed to check them all over with my hands this morning (while they were eating of course - I can do anything then!), to make sure they have no lumps or bumps that they shouldn't have and that their flesh feels as it should. I don't know for sure how it should feel, having never done this before, but they feel ok! And not for the first time, I found myself wondering what they'll taste like....

Took some pictures of Buddy & Halle Berry last night. For some strange reason, they were being very friendly towards eachother. Ahhh....


Grandma, what big ears you have....

Speak soon.

VP x

I sense another death at the Burn....

Took a booking today for August. Twinkle, a little cat who has been near to death the last few times she's been to stay. Her owners drop her off with detailed instructions on what to do should she peg it while they're away enjoying themselves on what's usually a very long holiday. Luckily, burial isn't involved. Anyway, Twinkle survived her last 'vacation' and it turns out she's still alive and kicking. Well, I don't know about kicking, she could barely walk when they took her home last time, but apparently she's 'full of spirit' at home. Yeah, right. Poor little thing, she's incontinent (not nice for her & especially not nice for me when I have to clean her out every day), her food has to be cut up so tiny because she practically has to suck it down and she drinks loads - a sure sign her kidneys are failing. I really hope they do the decent thing and put her to sleep before she comes. It's horrible to think that people are prepared to leave their pets when they know they're fragile and could possibly die. It's very selfish of them and it makes me really angry.... grrrr...

VP x

Thank goodness the wind has stopped!

Thought for a minute there we were all going to get blown away! I swear I saw the wicked witch of the west cycle past the window last night. Or was that just the scary lady from the Co-op in the village?

We have had some hair-raising weather here the last few days! Literally! But, we've all survived and the buildings are all still standing. Phew. Hopefully, it's settled down now. Luckily, we didn't have rain with it this time. Now that would have been interesting....

We had a good old clean out of the barn today. The pigs evidently have some rodent friends keeping them company at night. I suppose where there's food and livestock, you're always going to get mice and rats, but today Jack put some galvanised metal over the hole they've been using to burrow in from the outside & we hosed everywhere down and put feed bags & veggies in bins so that the rodents can't get at them. We cleaned all the straw off the floor of the barn so it'll be easier to see any bits of food that have been tipped over the edge of the trough & I know Edward & Tubbs clean their trough. They just have a big pile of straw on their raised bed area now. I'm hoping that doing all of this will discourage the rats from coming in. We'll see.

They seem to be growing by the day at the moment - I took some more pictures of them, as well as the barn so you can get an idea of where they live. The barn looks dingy in these photos - it must just be the camera flash, it's a lot brighter in there than it looks. There are a few windows that let natural light in & I'm leaving the hatch open permanently now, so E & T have constant access to the outside. The seem a lot happier & are definitely a lot less messy. Praise be!

VP x

My mood & the clouds have lifted!

Woo hoo! The sun is shining! For how long, I'm not sure, but Edward, Tubbs & me are enjoying the moment while it lasts. I've been away for a couple of days, in spirit as well as body, but I'm back today and we've been having a whale of a time out on their patch. I took a horse brush out with me this morning and gave them both a good old going over with it. At first, I was a bit worried because they were a bit flaky and I though that they must be a bit poorly, but I realised after a little while that it must just be the external layer of dead skin, because when I'd finished, they were gleaming! Tubbs really enjoyed it and was really leaning into the brush, wanting more and more! Little slut. Edward must have sensitive skin as every time I touched him with the brush, his skin moved - inadvertently, because he enjoyed the brushing too, but I think his little nerves must be a lot more sensitive than hers. Ahhh, and then when I'd done brushing them, he laid down in his straw and let me stroke inbetween his eyes and all round his chin and he fell asleep!

When I went outside, they came running out after me and were really sniffing at the clean sunny air - they seemed happy to not be getting wet for a change. Their moods seemed a lot more cheeky once they got outside too - they were both trying to eat my trousers, just above my wellies! They're still small enough to fend off, but I'm not looking forward to the day when they don't respond to my 'scolding voice'! I think I'm going to leave their hatch open tonight - they have plenty of straw to keep them warm and it means they'll (hopefully) go outside to pee & poo so there'll be very little mucking out to do in the morning. I've checked the perimeter of their area to make sure they've not started digging their way out, Great Escape stylie, but they seem to be quite happy, so they should still be there in the morning! If they're not, they wont have got far - there's a garth one side of their patch and a fenced field the other, which is our field and which doesn't have any livestock in it at the moment (a family friend sometimes puts his sheep in there), so if they do manage to make a bid for freedom, I'll be able to round them up from somewhere tomorrow.

I have to go get showered now - yes, I know it's nearly 11:30, but when you have to muck out pigs and scoop dog turds, it seems a little silly to get clean first thing... I'm off to my 'proper' job this afternoon where I have to look and smell like a human.

Speak soon.

VP x

This weather's getting me down now....

Saturday was a lovely sunny day, but a day of sunshine isn't enough to dry everything out as it had rained for so long before then. Sunday rained on & off and today, the rain's back with a vengeance. It's really miserable and makes working outside so difficult. I realise the ups far outweigh the downs when it comes to non-office work, but on days like today, it's hard to remember that!

Edward & Tubbs seem like different pigs since they went outside - they make far less mess than they did and, miracle of miracles, they no longer tip their water over! They have been eating a bit more than before, and that obviously makes sense as they're burning up a bit more energy with all that scooting around like maniacs! I'm feeling ok about the whole process again today - I've done a bit more reading about pig husbandry & am more interested - I can't say excited, because it's not the right word really - to see what they are going to taste like. I've decided to buy myself some cuts of pork from the farm shop in order to experiment a bit with different cures for bacon and hams etc. Hugh's (sorry to harp on about Hugh, but he's really the person who got me into all of this!) Meat book and River Cottage cook book both have sections on this and I thought I'd see which I like best before the day of reckoning comes. It's a shame Edward & Tubbs'll go to slaughter in the spring, just as the weather's getting warmer. It's going to be more difficult to keep ham etc cool. Another lesson learned.....

On a completely separate note, I've had a bit of a film-filled weekend. On Friday night, Jeff & I watched 'Tell No One'. Bloody brilliant French film, well worth a watch. Saturday night, we went to the flicks on a rare 'date' and saw 'No Country for Old Men' - fabulous. Totally messed up and with very very black humour, but the acting is superb and we both loved it. And then last night, I went to see 'Lust, Caution'. I can't say I thought it was great, but I'd read a couple of reviews where it was slated, and it was actually pretty good. The cinematography was superb and I do watch a film for the 'whole' film, sometimes the story itself isn't the most important part. It was a bit unnecessarily explicit though, which annoyed me. It's an 18, so that tells you it's going to be a bit naughty I suppose.. Anyway, I wont ramble on anymore about films - I'm not Jonathan Ross in disguise, but it's not that often I watch 3 films in 3 nights and I felt I had to comment!

Bye for now,

VP x

Do do dooo, do do do, do do do doo, do do do do doo (to the tune of Film 2007)

I'm doubting my ability to follow this through....

It's happened. Today, for the first time since I got Edward & Tubbs, I properly thought about their inevitable end and I really did wonder whether I'll be able to eat them. It happened because they were being really cute and funny. Little bastards. How very dare they.

I went in this morning & opened up their hatch - they have a hatch, Jack's really gone to town on this little set up - I think he's more in love with them than I am! Anyway, I opened their hatch & they didn't go out. I stood in with them and tried to point to the outside & was making encouraging noises, but no, they weren't budging. So I went outside round to their bit of land - I'll have to take a couple of photos of the barn & the set up here so that you can understand how it's all laid out - and stood outside the barn, the other side of their hatch. I called them out and Tubbs was the first to step outside - she's so brave. She followed me right over to the other side, but Edward was still refusing to leave the safety of the barn & was making some very loud noises - obviously protesting that he'd been left all on his own! Tubbs & me wandered back over to the hatch & she went in and must've told him in piggy language that all was ok and out they both came! They were oinking and squeaking and running around like little crazy things. Totally excited that they were out with their mum. They kept coming up to me, almost as if they were wanting reassurance and I was giving them a little scratch and off they'd go again. To see them doing what comes naturally, rooting around and pushing their little noses into the soil was absolutely brilliant. It's just a shame the patch they're allowed on is the old potato & bonfire patch, so there's no greenery for them to get their teeth into. Having said that, there are obviously a lot of old roots under the ground and it didn't take them long to start munching on them! They found a potato too & I left them for a while snuffling around under the couple of trees that are at one end of the patch. I had to go get them some more pellets and while I was at the supply store, I got a huge bag of pony carrots and when I got back I scattered a few over the ground for them to find and munch on. They really are so funny - they want whatever the other one has and Edward'll wrestle a carrot off of Tubbs if she has one & he doesn't. He's a terror.

The rain stayed away mostly today - makes a bloody change - but they are absolutely caked in mud because the ground is so soggy. I was half tempted to give them a warm bath before I tucked them in for the night...

Following my mate Malc's tip, I'm going to get them a couple of footballs to play around - the speed at which they travel when they get going, I reckon I might be able to save them from death & sell them to Kevin Keegan in a few months. I hear he has a bottomless budget....

As promised, I took a few photos & a video. I apologise for the extremely high-pitched voice on the video. Yes, it's me but I didn't realise my little camera actually recorded sound as well. Be careful you don't have any fine crystal glasses near your speakers when you play it. Jeff's in one too, trying to give Tubbs a kiss. He nearly lost a nose when she realised there was no food in his mouth for her to steal. I apologise for the formatting, I know I must be able to move these around a bit and turn them the right way up, but I'm rubbish with a computer....

Free At Last!

Yay! Edward & Tubbs have finally gained access to the outside! Unfortunately, I wasn't here to witness their first tenatative steps outside, but I understand from John that Jack had some 'fun' trying to get them back inside when it was getting dark! I can't wait for the morning - it'll probably still be raining (it's rained solidly for 3 days now), but I don't care. I'm here tomorrow (today - I had to go to my 'proper' part time job at the doctor's surgery) and I'll let them out all day. It's my intention to give their barn a good old scrub out in the hope (probably vain I know) that they'll not smell their poop in the barn and will start crapping out by the midden. Hmmm, we'll see. But, batteries are charged, so I shall be out their papping away and will post you some photos tomorrow night.

I'm here alone tonight - Jeff is out all night. Buddy's keeping my spot warm on the sofa and my little glass of red is calling out to me. Will write more tomorrow. I'm sure with the new found freedom, something typically out of the ordinary will happen....

VP x

Those little sods

They've learnt a new trick. Wait til mum has her back turned and not looking at us & then tip over our water that she's just filled up. I can tell you that funny it is not. Not only do I have to lug a load of water to their barn a couple of times a day (the hoses don't reach, and if they did, I'm sure Eddie & Tubbs would try to eat it while I'm filling their trough), but I then have to do it all over again because they think it's great fun to watch me do it! They drink a surprising amount of water as well (I wasn't prepared for this!) and I'm now worried that their going to die of dehydration! I can't keep filling it, can I? I'm going to have to have a word with Jack to see if he can come up with something a little more solid than I have in there so that they can't physically move it. Little sods.

Aside from this new trick, they're becoming more of a handful by the day. Goodness knows what they're going to be like when they're fully grown! They are such little characters though. When they're being naughty & you tell them off, they just stop still as if to say, 'who, me?' Unless I've got food, they want to terrorise me if I go in there. Jeff spends quite a bit of time in the barn carving and he says they really talk to him when he's there. I think they might have got a little more talkative since the introduction of the radio as well - they love it! Unfortunately it's not a digital, so I haven't been able to tune them into 6 Music. I reckon they'd quite enjoy Sean Keaveney on a morning....

I've made my second loaf too! A French Couronne apparently. Looks a bit like this, but I made it with a hole in the middle - that's how my recipe said to make it. I'm sure it's not particularly authentic, but looks & tastes good! Not back for my 2nd attempt - and not a packet mix in sight Greenlee (!!)



It's been raining solidly all day here. I hate it when it's like this. Nothing ever dries out and the dogs get all muddy when you exercise them and their beds get wet and need changing constantly. Eugh. I think I need to move to sunnier climes one day. I don't mind the cold, but I can't stand the grey wetness the UK seems to do so well. I really can't wait for the spring to come. I reckon I've got S.A.D.

Speak soon.

VP x