Not much to report really....

It's all been a bit quiet in the last few days. The weather's been ok, the kennels aren't very busy, my 'proper' job, where I have to look and smell a bit better than I usually do these days has been fine and Edward & Tubbs are coming along nicely. They seem to be a lot less reliant on me now - they're very happy in their barn and spend most of the day outside, especially when it's sunny. I obviously go in a couple of times a day to feed & brush them (I'm finding the brushing is making their hair & skin a lot better), but other than that, I'm leaving them to themselves. Jeff threw a couple of old footballs in with them this afternoon & said that Edward was really funny with them - picking them up with his teeth & tossing them into the air. I wasn't here to witness this - I've been out this afternoon, but if the weather's ok & I can get in with them tomorrow without getting eaten, I'll post another video. If the truth be told, I am trying to distance myself a bit - if I spend too much time with them, I know I'll find it even harder to part with them in a few months. I even managed to check them all over with my hands this morning (while they were eating of course - I can do anything then!), to make sure they have no lumps or bumps that they shouldn't have and that their flesh feels as it should. I don't know for sure how it should feel, having never done this before, but they feel ok! And not for the first time, I found myself wondering what they'll taste like....

Took some pictures of Buddy & Halle Berry last night. For some strange reason, they were being very friendly towards eachother. Ahhh....


Grandma, what big ears you have....

Speak soon.

VP x

I sense another death at the Burn....

Took a booking today for August. Twinkle, a little cat who has been near to death the last few times she's been to stay. Her owners drop her off with detailed instructions on what to do should she peg it while they're away enjoying themselves on what's usually a very long holiday. Luckily, burial isn't involved. Anyway, Twinkle survived her last 'vacation' and it turns out she's still alive and kicking. Well, I don't know about kicking, she could barely walk when they took her home last time, but apparently she's 'full of spirit' at home. Yeah, right. Poor little thing, she's incontinent (not nice for her & especially not nice for me when I have to clean her out every day), her food has to be cut up so tiny because she practically has to suck it down and she drinks loads - a sure sign her kidneys are failing. I really hope they do the decent thing and put her to sleep before she comes. It's horrible to think that people are prepared to leave their pets when they know they're fragile and could possibly die. It's very selfish of them and it makes me really angry.... grrrr...

VP x

Thank goodness the wind has stopped!

Thought for a minute there we were all going to get blown away! I swear I saw the wicked witch of the west cycle past the window last night. Or was that just the scary lady from the Co-op in the village?

We have had some hair-raising weather here the last few days! Literally! But, we've all survived and the buildings are all still standing. Phew. Hopefully, it's settled down now. Luckily, we didn't have rain with it this time. Now that would have been interesting....

We had a good old clean out of the barn today. The pigs evidently have some rodent friends keeping them company at night. I suppose where there's food and livestock, you're always going to get mice and rats, but today Jack put some galvanised metal over the hole they've been using to burrow in from the outside & we hosed everywhere down and put feed bags & veggies in bins so that the rodents can't get at them. We cleaned all the straw off the floor of the barn so it'll be easier to see any bits of food that have been tipped over the edge of the trough & I know Edward & Tubbs clean their trough. They just have a big pile of straw on their raised bed area now. I'm hoping that doing all of this will discourage the rats from coming in. We'll see.

They seem to be growing by the day at the moment - I took some more pictures of them, as well as the barn so you can get an idea of where they live. The barn looks dingy in these photos - it must just be the camera flash, it's a lot brighter in there than it looks. There are a few windows that let natural light in & I'm leaving the hatch open permanently now, so E & T have constant access to the outside. The seem a lot happier & are definitely a lot less messy. Praise be!

VP x

My mood & the clouds have lifted!

Woo hoo! The sun is shining! For how long, I'm not sure, but Edward, Tubbs & me are enjoying the moment while it lasts. I've been away for a couple of days, in spirit as well as body, but I'm back today and we've been having a whale of a time out on their patch. I took a horse brush out with me this morning and gave them both a good old going over with it. At first, I was a bit worried because they were a bit flaky and I though that they must be a bit poorly, but I realised after a little while that it must just be the external layer of dead skin, because when I'd finished, they were gleaming! Tubbs really enjoyed it and was really leaning into the brush, wanting more and more! Little slut. Edward must have sensitive skin as every time I touched him with the brush, his skin moved - inadvertently, because he enjoyed the brushing too, but I think his little nerves must be a lot more sensitive than hers. Ahhh, and then when I'd done brushing them, he laid down in his straw and let me stroke inbetween his eyes and all round his chin and he fell asleep!

When I went outside, they came running out after me and were really sniffing at the clean sunny air - they seemed happy to not be getting wet for a change. Their moods seemed a lot more cheeky once they got outside too - they were both trying to eat my trousers, just above my wellies! They're still small enough to fend off, but I'm not looking forward to the day when they don't respond to my 'scolding voice'! I think I'm going to leave their hatch open tonight - they have plenty of straw to keep them warm and it means they'll (hopefully) go outside to pee & poo so there'll be very little mucking out to do in the morning. I've checked the perimeter of their area to make sure they've not started digging their way out, Great Escape stylie, but they seem to be quite happy, so they should still be there in the morning! If they're not, they wont have got far - there's a garth one side of their patch and a fenced field the other, which is our field and which doesn't have any livestock in it at the moment (a family friend sometimes puts his sheep in there), so if they do manage to make a bid for freedom, I'll be able to round them up from somewhere tomorrow.

I have to go get showered now - yes, I know it's nearly 11:30, but when you have to muck out pigs and scoop dog turds, it seems a little silly to get clean first thing... I'm off to my 'proper' job this afternoon where I have to look and smell like a human.

Speak soon.

VP x

This weather's getting me down now....

Saturday was a lovely sunny day, but a day of sunshine isn't enough to dry everything out as it had rained for so long before then. Sunday rained on & off and today, the rain's back with a vengeance. It's really miserable and makes working outside so difficult. I realise the ups far outweigh the downs when it comes to non-office work, but on days like today, it's hard to remember that!

Edward & Tubbs seem like different pigs since they went outside - they make far less mess than they did and, miracle of miracles, they no longer tip their water over! They have been eating a bit more than before, and that obviously makes sense as they're burning up a bit more energy with all that scooting around like maniacs! I'm feeling ok about the whole process again today - I've done a bit more reading about pig husbandry & am more interested - I can't say excited, because it's not the right word really - to see what they are going to taste like. I've decided to buy myself some cuts of pork from the farm shop in order to experiment a bit with different cures for bacon and hams etc. Hugh's (sorry to harp on about Hugh, but he's really the person who got me into all of this!) Meat book and River Cottage cook book both have sections on this and I thought I'd see which I like best before the day of reckoning comes. It's a shame Edward & Tubbs'll go to slaughter in the spring, just as the weather's getting warmer. It's going to be more difficult to keep ham etc cool. Another lesson learned.....

On a completely separate note, I've had a bit of a film-filled weekend. On Friday night, Jeff & I watched 'Tell No One'. Bloody brilliant French film, well worth a watch. Saturday night, we went to the flicks on a rare 'date' and saw 'No Country for Old Men' - fabulous. Totally messed up and with very very black humour, but the acting is superb and we both loved it. And then last night, I went to see 'Lust, Caution'. I can't say I thought it was great, but I'd read a couple of reviews where it was slated, and it was actually pretty good. The cinematography was superb and I do watch a film for the 'whole' film, sometimes the story itself isn't the most important part. It was a bit unnecessarily explicit though, which annoyed me. It's an 18, so that tells you it's going to be a bit naughty I suppose.. Anyway, I wont ramble on anymore about films - I'm not Jonathan Ross in disguise, but it's not that often I watch 3 films in 3 nights and I felt I had to comment!

Bye for now,

VP x

Do do dooo, do do do, do do do doo, do do do do doo (to the tune of Film 2007)

I'm doubting my ability to follow this through....

It's happened. Today, for the first time since I got Edward & Tubbs, I properly thought about their inevitable end and I really did wonder whether I'll be able to eat them. It happened because they were being really cute and funny. Little bastards. How very dare they.

I went in this morning & opened up their hatch - they have a hatch, Jack's really gone to town on this little set up - I think he's more in love with them than I am! Anyway, I opened their hatch & they didn't go out. I stood in with them and tried to point to the outside & was making encouraging noises, but no, they weren't budging. So I went outside round to their bit of land - I'll have to take a couple of photos of the barn & the set up here so that you can understand how it's all laid out - and stood outside the barn, the other side of their hatch. I called them out and Tubbs was the first to step outside - she's so brave. She followed me right over to the other side, but Edward was still refusing to leave the safety of the barn & was making some very loud noises - obviously protesting that he'd been left all on his own! Tubbs & me wandered back over to the hatch & she went in and must've told him in piggy language that all was ok and out they both came! They were oinking and squeaking and running around like little crazy things. Totally excited that they were out with their mum. They kept coming up to me, almost as if they were wanting reassurance and I was giving them a little scratch and off they'd go again. To see them doing what comes naturally, rooting around and pushing their little noses into the soil was absolutely brilliant. It's just a shame the patch they're allowed on is the old potato & bonfire patch, so there's no greenery for them to get their teeth into. Having said that, there are obviously a lot of old roots under the ground and it didn't take them long to start munching on them! They found a potato too & I left them for a while snuffling around under the couple of trees that are at one end of the patch. I had to go get them some more pellets and while I was at the supply store, I got a huge bag of pony carrots and when I got back I scattered a few over the ground for them to find and munch on. They really are so funny - they want whatever the other one has and Edward'll wrestle a carrot off of Tubbs if she has one & he doesn't. He's a terror.

The rain stayed away mostly today - makes a bloody change - but they are absolutely caked in mud because the ground is so soggy. I was half tempted to give them a warm bath before I tucked them in for the night...

Following my mate Malc's tip, I'm going to get them a couple of footballs to play around - the speed at which they travel when they get going, I reckon I might be able to save them from death & sell them to Kevin Keegan in a few months. I hear he has a bottomless budget....

As promised, I took a few photos & a video. I apologise for the extremely high-pitched voice on the video. Yes, it's me but I didn't realise my little camera actually recorded sound as well. Be careful you don't have any fine crystal glasses near your speakers when you play it. Jeff's in one too, trying to give Tubbs a kiss. He nearly lost a nose when she realised there was no food in his mouth for her to steal. I apologise for the formatting, I know I must be able to move these around a bit and turn them the right way up, but I'm rubbish with a computer....

Free At Last!

Yay! Edward & Tubbs have finally gained access to the outside! Unfortunately, I wasn't here to witness their first tenatative steps outside, but I understand from John that Jack had some 'fun' trying to get them back inside when it was getting dark! I can't wait for the morning - it'll probably still be raining (it's rained solidly for 3 days now), but I don't care. I'm here tomorrow (today - I had to go to my 'proper' part time job at the doctor's surgery) and I'll let them out all day. It's my intention to give their barn a good old scrub out in the hope (probably vain I know) that they'll not smell their poop in the barn and will start crapping out by the midden. Hmmm, we'll see. But, batteries are charged, so I shall be out their papping away and will post you some photos tomorrow night.

I'm here alone tonight - Jeff is out all night. Buddy's keeping my spot warm on the sofa and my little glass of red is calling out to me. Will write more tomorrow. I'm sure with the new found freedom, something typically out of the ordinary will happen....

VP x

Those little sods

They've learnt a new trick. Wait til mum has her back turned and not looking at us & then tip over our water that she's just filled up. I can tell you that funny it is not. Not only do I have to lug a load of water to their barn a couple of times a day (the hoses don't reach, and if they did, I'm sure Eddie & Tubbs would try to eat it while I'm filling their trough), but I then have to do it all over again because they think it's great fun to watch me do it! They drink a surprising amount of water as well (I wasn't prepared for this!) and I'm now worried that their going to die of dehydration! I can't keep filling it, can I? I'm going to have to have a word with Jack to see if he can come up with something a little more solid than I have in there so that they can't physically move it. Little sods.

Aside from this new trick, they're becoming more of a handful by the day. Goodness knows what they're going to be like when they're fully grown! They are such little characters though. When they're being naughty & you tell them off, they just stop still as if to say, 'who, me?' Unless I've got food, they want to terrorise me if I go in there. Jeff spends quite a bit of time in the barn carving and he says they really talk to him when he's there. I think they might have got a little more talkative since the introduction of the radio as well - they love it! Unfortunately it's not a digital, so I haven't been able to tune them into 6 Music. I reckon they'd quite enjoy Sean Keaveney on a morning....

I've made my second loaf too! A French Couronne apparently. Looks a bit like this, but I made it with a hole in the middle - that's how my recipe said to make it. I'm sure it's not particularly authentic, but looks & tastes good! Not back for my 2nd attempt - and not a packet mix in sight Greenlee (!!)



It's been raining solidly all day here. I hate it when it's like this. Nothing ever dries out and the dogs get all muddy when you exercise them and their beds get wet and need changing constantly. Eugh. I think I need to move to sunnier climes one day. I don't mind the cold, but I can't stand the grey wetness the UK seems to do so well. I really can't wait for the spring to come. I reckon I've got S.A.D.

Speak soon.

VP x

R.I.P Totty

We had a sad day at the kennels today. Totty, a regular inmate, died in her kennel and I found her. Poor little thing - she'd been in for 30 days (her mum is a mad old lady with far too much money & has been in South Africa since well before Christmas) and was due to go home on Thursday! I was so upset, thinking that she'd died all alone, not even in her own home. She'd obviously had a little fit and just died in her sleep - the best way to go I suppose. She was about 20, so she's had a really good innings. It's still sad though....

There is actually a more comical side to this little tale....

After I'd found her & gone running out to Jeff in a quite melodramatical way, I telephoned her owner's son (he also brings his dogs here, but is not away at the moment). I told him what had happened and asked him what he would like us to do with her. Jeff had offered to bury her in the orchard. It's a lovely little spot and we thought it would be a fitting resting place for a dear little dog. The son agreed and thanked us for offering and told me not to worry (I got a little teary you see), and he said that he would let his mother know for us. I relayed this message to Jeff and off he went in his wellies, armed with a spade to set to digging a hole. Luckily Totty isn't a Great Dane, she's just a little Jack Russell. Something tells me he wouldn't have been so forthcoming with his offer of burying her if she had've been. That's just my cynical side talking though - Jeff is a very lovely person. Jeff, remember the type of ring I said I'd like.... Anyway, I very bravely took Totty's collar off of her - I guessed that her mum would like to keep it & off I went after Jeff with her in her little bed, up to the grave he'd dug. We put her in very gently - I was a little teary again by this point & we made sure she was tucked in all nice and then covered her with the soil. We said a little prayer, I put a twig in to mark the spot & then we came back to the house for a well earned cup of tea. Tea makes everything better, doesn't it?

The phone was ringing as we walked down to the house, but we let it ring & I listened to the message when the kettle was boiling. It was the son. He'd decided that maybe we shouldn't bury Totty and that his mum might want to see her before she was laid to rest. Ooops. I telephoned him back, only to be told by his wife that he was on his way round to the kennels to tell us this news in person. He arrived and I told him we'd already buried her. He said he thought that was where we probably were when he telephoned. OF COURSE WE WERE! YOU TOLD US TO BURY HER! I wanted to scream. Jeff offered to exhume her. The son said 'ok'. The look on Jeff's face was a picture. I mean, if you could see where we'd buried her - and I did show the son - you would agree that it's a lovely little place. Totty's mum could've planted something there if she'd wanted to and she knows that we all loved Totty. Anyway, off Jeff went, spade in hand, wellies back on, tea not drunk & dug her up. The son then asked us if we could keep her until his mum got back from holiday. Where exactly he thought we could keep a dog's body for 4 days without it going somewhat off, I'm not sure. We're a boarding kennels, not a bloody dog mortuary. The offer of a burial was beyond our remit, I'm sure! We said we didn't have anywhere to keep her, trying to disguise the looks of total disbelief from our faces and off he went, with Totty in a sack.

It could only happen to us.

Rest in peace Totty, I know you're up there in doggy heaven, running about like the little lunatic I'm sure you once were. You're a Jack Russell after all.

VP x

PS the bread came out ok after all. Could've done with a bit more salt maybe, but was definitely edible and more importantly, didn't make us sick! Oh, and Edward & Tubbs are very happy piggies today - they got a radio in the barn to keep them company. Last seen, they were body popping to N.W.A

Oh dear

Just tried making my first loaf of bread. Well, when I say first, I mean first since leaving school (which was quite some time ago). The actual first attempt, the one at school, made everyone in my family sick. Literally.

I thought it was about time I conquered my fear and had another go. Especially now there's this new-fangled quick & easy dried yeast stuff. Hmmmm.... It's easy, they all said. Well, I think I might have fallen at the first hurdle. When my 'ball' of dough went into the bowl for it's first prove, it looks nothing like the 'smooth silky ball' it's supposed to....

It's got another 45 minutes in it's bowl before I have to 'knock it back'. This sounds all a little too much like hard work to me. Why can't we be like the wonderful French and have a little boulangerie in the village - so much more civilised.

Will let you know how I get on.

VP x

PS I'm bloody brilliant at cakes, even if I do say so myself.

Dead Proud

Just thought I'd write this down while I'm thinking about it - it's not often that I feel proud of something I've done you see..

While I was mucking out Edward & Tubbs this morning & feeding them and loving them, I felt really proud of myself. Me, the girl from London who, up until a couple of months back wouldn't even pick a pea out of the plug hole after doing the washing up (in Marigolds of course), mucking out pigs and traipsing out to my midden (don't know if I've spelt that correctly - until I got pigs, I'd never heard of the word - it's a shit heap apparently!) in the soggy mud with their mucky straw and getting pig poo on my hands and not worrying about it! Phew, that was a long sentence! If I'd managed to get any sort of crap on my hands before pigs, I'd have had a panic about it!

Of course I still whine on to Jeff about the state of my cuticles and hands - it'll be a long time yet before I really succumb to this way of life and accept everything that comes with it... That reminds me, I need to ring the hairdressers - my roots need doing....

Speak later

VP x

PS thank you Malc for your words of encouragement - you're absolutely right, I should be doing this for myself & of course, I am, but once I realised people were actually reading it, it all got a little scary! Malc - for all of you who don't know him - is my new bestest friend (he doesn't know this yet - s'alright Malc, I'm no stalker) in the blog world. He's so funny. The Edge of Nowhere is his blog name - it's brilliant.

I'm a terrible blogger

Please forgive me, I've totally abandoned my blog for the past couple of weeks. I didn't realise how difficult it'd be to find interesting things to say & be witty with it! The sad thing is, now that I've stated that, it means I believe what I've posted so far has been witty and interesting!

Anyway, I promise I shall try to be more disciplined in the future and will attempt to write something, no matter how trivial every evening. Guides honour. I wasn't a girl guide though. Does that matter I wonder?

So, Edwards & Tubbs are getting bigger apparently. James (aka Jeff), my ever-patient boyfriend (note boyfriend, not husband. JEFF!) hadn't seen them in a few days - I do all of the mucking out & feeding etc and he works in Newcastle which is about 40 miles away, so generally leaves in the dark and gets back in the dark - and he said they'd grown loads! Seeing them every day, I suppose I don't notice it so much, but it's good to hear they are actually getting bigger which means I'm obviously feeding them correctly! That still causes me much worry you see....

I've realised that I was probably over-feeding them and am now following the 'if it's not all eaten in 20 minutes, there's too much food in there' rule. I do honestly believe they'd eat apples and vegetable peelings all day if I gave them a constant supply, but I know they don't tend to over-eat when they have too many pellets in their trough. I think I've found a good balance now. I hope I have anyway. I suppose we'll only find out for sure when they get butchered.... Sorry to have to mention the 'b' word...

I made some braised red cabbage to go with - funnily enough- some belly pork from the farm shop. There was loads of the stuff left over. The braised cabbage, not the belly pork - I'm not silly! So, I gave it to the pigs, mixed with a tub of extra thick double cream that was past it's best and also some home-made cranberry sauce from Christmas that was sat in the bottom of the fridge looking all lonely. Oh my goodness. They went mad. I don't think I've ever heard such a racket from just 2 small animals! The oinking and the lip smacking and the little squeals of what I can only assume were delight and total disbelief at the feast I'd plonked in their trough! They totally loved me while it lasted. Of course they looked at me a little disappointedly when their next feed consisted of pellets and a bit of barley. I do love them - they're so funny and so easy to please! Batteries are on charge for the camera. More pictures to follow, guides honour.

I've watched HF-W's Chicken Run programme over the last few nights. I know I knew how extensively reared chickens were kept, but had obviously never seen it for myself. I never buy any eggs other than free range anyway, but have (like I'm sure many of you have) bought ordinary chicken & chicken pieces from the supermarket in the past without thinking. Since moving up north, I don't buy any meat from the supermarket, but when you live in a big city, it's very easy to just not think about how animals (all animals, not just chickens) are raised for our plates. The programmes have certainly made me think about what I buy from now on that contains eggs or chicken - once you start to think about it, it's amazing how many of the products we buy contain this type of produce. Even noodles from the Chinese on a Friday - I can't imagine the eggs come from free range chickens, can you?!

I do realise that I'm very lucky in that the farm shop is just up the road and I can get pretty much everything I need from there, including vegetables. I can also bake my own cakes & bread - I work & live here, so it's very easy for me to put aside some time to make things, but I could do a lot more and I'm really going to try to eat only fresh produce that I've made myself or that I know exactly where it's come from. I've also decided to become selectively vegetarian when I go out to eat. I don't want to become a meat bore and dictate to my friends where they should buy their meat from, but I don't have to eat it. I only want to eat happy animals!

Now, I have to go and make my kitchen less smelly. I've no idea what it is, but it smells like bins. I'm going to have to pull everything out & check under the cupboards - I reckon that little serial killer of mine (Halle Berry - the cat - she's brown and beautiful), has brought something in that's been merrily rotting away. Wish me luck.

VP x

Oh, and thank you so much to my fellow bloggers for their comments! I really appreciate the fact that people take the time to read this!

Happy New Year

Oh, and Happy New Year to all of you who read these ramblings! I don't know who you are, but there must be a few of you as my counter has gone up to over 70!

I hope 2008 is a happy, prosperous & peaceful one for us all.

VP x

Arghh!!!! My babies want to have babies!

An horrific event occurred yesterday. I caught Edward on top of Tubbs. Yes, I know. They're far too young and not only that, it's incestuous! Naughty little pigs. Consequently, I'm now extremely concerned that it wont be long before they 'get it right' and I have a litter of mutant piglets on my hands! As tasty as an extra leg or two might be, I don't know that I should be encouraging such behaviour...

I've asked my Accidental Smallholder friends for their advice. So far, it seems that the only thing I can do is send them off early, before Rock Steady Eddie becomes fully mature. This saddens me as it'll have to be around 5 months to be sure. I really don't want to send them off that soon - that takes them to the end of March & they wont have had the pleasure of the warm sunshine on their backs... I know I can't send just him off either as Tubbs'll be distraught. What a dilemma. The first one of my pig-keeping experience so far and so soon! I'm going to call in at the farm to see what they have to say on the matter. Keep your fingers (and your legs Tubbs, if you're listening!) crossed for me. And the little ones of course.

Will keep you posted....

VP x

PS It's seriously snowed here - it looks like a magical winter wonderland outside